Gloria surprises Jay with a trip to Hawaii for his birthday, but he isn't pleased to find out that the entire family is tagging along. When everyone arrives at the airport, chaos ensues with forgotten identification, breeches of security, and flying phobias.
Jay and Gloria walk through LAX, and Jay is complimenting Gloria left and right and thanking her for the wonderful birthday present: a week in Hawaii in a great resort in Maui, first class plane tickets, the works. Just the two of them, because Jay has Manny tied in the back with a big bowl of kibble. Gloria spared no expense; it cost her (Jay) a fortune. Which got even more expensive when she sprung the surprise that the whole family was going with them, and she (Jay) paid for them, too! First class for everybody?
GLORIA: No, silly. Coach. You think I'm made of money?
As Gloria is excited (and Jay is dreading) about the daily hikes up the volcano, everybody starts arriving at the airport. Haley and Alex scope out cute guys...most of whom are out of Haley's league since they're reading books. Luke hopes that the plane crashes on an island like in Lost, which freaks out Claire, who is already terrified of flights. ("At the end of the day, it's still a building on its side being thrown from one place to another.")
Mitchell and Cameron make it to the airport, and Mitchell discovers he forgot his wallet. This was Cameron's fault, because he organized a play date right before they left for the airport. Phil thinks they can get there and back again, so he and Mitchell take off. Meanwhile, Cam tries to keep Lily awake because he appreciates that crying babies and planes do not mix. As does Mitchell, who had to contend with Cameron not getting to see Billy Elliott in New York.
Claire is upset because Phil is not there to calm her and calls him to say so. Of course, Phil is dealing with the other high-strung Pritchett child right now, but at least they remembered to turn on the security system at the house.
Meanwhile, Dylan is hiding in the house, since he slept over last night, much to Haley's surprise. He is saddened that he wouldn't see Haley for a week. Haley shoos him out because she doesn't want Claire to see him and think they had sex.
Phil and Mitchell make it back to his house, and Mitchell doesn't have his keys. Fortunately, Phil is a real estate agent and knows all the tricks.
PHIL: Every real estate agent is just a ninja with a blazer. The average burglar breaks in, they leave clues everywhere. But not me. I'm completely clueless.
As Dylan texts Haley that he's trapped, Manny and Gloria discuss seeing the rain forests, whale watching, and all of the things they want to do (and Jay doesn't) in Hawaii...while Manny gets a shoeshine. But at least Jay still has his 8 Robert Ludlum novels on his book-reader thing. Until Luke sits on it and crushes it. Jay goes to drown his sorrows while the TSA takes Gloria and Manny away because Manny's name is on the no fly list.
Mitchell and Phil discuss/argue while running back after the alarm goes off at Phil's house about Cameron not helping him that morning, even though he didn't ask him, while Cameron and Claire discuss/argue that he should have been on the same wavelength with Mitchell. Claire joins Jay at the bar, and we find out that Claire is nervous because she feels she has more to lose now. Jay admits to not being psyched about the vacation because he just wanted to relax and not have all the luaus, hiking, and the talent show the family was putting on for him. He was afraid that Gloria didn't want to spend time with him. Claire thinks that's ridiculous but adorable. And she wants to keep drinking to calm her nerves.
After Manny assures the TSA he did not attend an electronics show in Osaka, Japan when he was four, Jay comes to collect them. The TSA wanted to know why they were traveling together, but Manny's return ticket was for a different date. It turns out that everybody else is going for six days, not seven, so Gloria and Jay can have a night alone.
JAY: I could not love you any more than I do right now.
GLORIA: (whispers) I also found a topless beach.
JAY: I was wrong.
(The characters striked out do not appear in this episode)
- Jay Pritchett
- Gloria Pritchett
- Manny Delgado
- Joe Pritchett
- Claire Dunphy
- Phil Dunphy
- Haley Dunphy
- Alex Dunphy
- Luke Dunphy
- Mitchell Pritchett
- Cameron Tucker
- Lily Tucker-Pritchett
- Reid Ewing as Dylan Marshall
- Tom Wright as Pete
- Patrick Stafford as Jeff
- Andrew Heffernan as Gate Attendant
- Kelly Michaels as Daryl
- The episode title is a reference to the Airport sequels, Airport 1975, Airport '77 and The Concorde ... Airport '79.
- Luke mentions the TV series Lost.
- Haley compares Jeff, the cute boy whom she flirts with, with Leonardo DiCaprio's perfomance in Titanic
- Claire would not have been allowed to board the plane as she was drunk and unconscious/asleep.
- Check-in would have been closed by the time Mitchell and Phil got back to the airport.
- Phil checked-in separately to Claire, Haley, Alex and Luke, and Mitchell checked-in separately to Cam and Lily, however groups travelling together (one booking) have to check-in at the same time.