Mitch and Cam's best gal pal, Sal, makes one of her notorious surprise drop-ins, but this time with big news - she's getting married... tomorrow! Cam and Mitch are the best men, but they can't help but question whether this party girl can really settle down, and they consider an intervention. Meanwhile, Gloria has trust issues with their new nanny, Claire has a rare bonding moment with Haley, and Phil helps Luke with a girl he likes.
There is something to be said about the look of new contact paper in the cupboards. Mitchell and Cameron can certainly attest to that. They could also attest to their party-days friend, Sal, remaining that way. But they were wrong; she was getting married and wanted Mitch and Cam to be her best men. This Friday. A bit soon, but Cam still thought there was still enough time to work on her hair and get her dress. (MITCHELL: Cam has never been a best man before, you can tell.)
Manny's been having problems at school, specifically in art class. He has a bit of an obsession with the female form, particularly breasts, to the point where other parents are complaining. Gloria, however, is furious because they have Internet filters on the computer, and she already threw out Jay's dirty magazines. (JAY: I have no idea what you're talking about.) Gloria had no idea where Manny had gotten this obsession from...until she looked down. And she figured out the reason for it. (well, technically, there were two reasons for it.) Except those two reasons were actually on Daliya, the new nanny. The one Gloria hated because her mother raised six kids and had a job and would be ashamed they had a nanny. (JAY: I don't see a lot of shame from your mom when she's cashing my checks every month.)
Alex headed off to her cello lesson on her own, since Phil and Claire weren't even trying to come up with excuses anymore. But Claire was excited that Haley complimented her shoes and accepted an invitation to dinner. She thought it was like sending them into space. She could stay in constant contact with them until they were teenagers and went around to the dark side of the moon. She just had to wait until they got older and communication picked up again. (Phil gave her that...and didn't let her forget it.) So that left Phil with Luke, who was trying to talk to a girl on Facebook but was failing miserably. Phil couldn't see the problem and gave him some help. (PHIL: Please, you're in the hands of a master. I think I know how to pick up a 14-year old girl...for you.) But Phil knew his stuff and Luke had himself a dinner date in an hour. Which made him panic and use the Axe body spray all over the place. But he wanted to hurry before it wore off. (PHIL: I think we have a few days).
Mitchell, Cameron, and Sal had a few drinks to celebrate, and the guys were happy they had a couple to do couple things with now. Sal...wasn't so excited about that. Cam thinks she really has changed, but Mitch thinks her making out with the bartender might be a sign she hasn't. Meanwhile, Luke and Simone met up at the restaurant, but Luke was still very nervous. (LUKE: This is my dad. Dad, this is Luke.) But it turns out that wasn't the most awkward moment of the evening. While Phil kept an eye out from a distance, Simone's mother introduced herself to Phil, having recognized him from hosting the school talent show. It turns out Valerie did the same thing for Simone Phil did for Luke. (PHIL: Does this make it OUR date?) And Valerie was liking it. This while Haley walked into the restaurant and instantly ditched Claire when one of her friends showed up, leaving Claire to watch Alex's band, Electric Light Dorkestra.
Cameron was upset that Sal was waffling so badly about marriage, despite the fact she decided to still go through with it. Of course, he was the Best Man, and it would be hard to have a ceremony without the rings. Meanwhile, Jay and Gloria tried to have a night out on the town, but Gloria worried about being away from Joe and she was upset she wasn't there to run Manny's bath. Of course, that was the sort of thing Jay said Manny had to get away from, given what was written in his journals. Then he saw Daliya's name in them and they rushed home to stop Manny from hitting on Daliya. (JAY: This isn't a nude descending a staircase; this is a nude VACUUMING a staircase!). And that was Manny's plane, Which he did complete with a single red rose and an entire romantic dinner. Yup, it was as awkward as it sounds. Although to her credit, she played it out and thought it was sweet. But Manny was adamant he was in love with her and was crushed when she turned him down. And woke the baby when he slammed his bedroom door, so both Gloria and Daliya had work to do.
On the good side (or sides, so to speak), Haley came back to Claire out of guilt, but Claire was upset Haley didn't come back because she wanted to be there.
HALEY: You are being really need right now. Oh, my God! Are you going through 'the change'?
CLAIRE: Stop saying that every time I express an emotion! And I'm not. It's just so hot in here.
Claire confessed she was hoping Haley was coming around again and she could be part of her life. But for now, they sat back and enjoyed Alex's band. Who were not playing classical music. In fact, they were pretty damn good. Alex could even sing. (backup vocals to a guy who looks like Harry Potter, but still...) Neither of them were happy that Alex blew them off to go out with the band, however.
Phil finally got through to Valerie that he was married, only she was upset he was flirting with her. Which he denied, despite making the "this is our date" joke. And she got upset and he got flustered when he demonstrated how she touched his arm and she turned her breast into his hand. (PHIL: I am so sorry for touching your hand with my boob! I mean my boob with your hand!) She thinks he's playing a game...and her minivan is right outside. But the evening was over. On the good side for Luke, Valerie not wanting Simone to go out with Luke anymore make Simone like him even more. It was a rebellious thing.
PHIL: Never be afraid to go after a girl who's out of your league. That's how I got your mom. Yup, Grandpa wasn't always as crazy about me as he is now.
Give Sal credit: she apologized to Lily for not inviting her to the wedding, but Lily figured she'll go to her next one.
SAL: I don't like you.
LILY: I'll get over it.
Both Cam and Mitch were on high alert as Sal said her vows with her new groom. She told him she was terrified of marriage and then she told him the story of how Cam and Mitch were up late at night putting contact paper in their cupboards and that they didn't want to be anywhere else...and she got how wonderful that could be, especially when she saw his face. And he admitted going out with a stripper the prior evening...and she admitted making out with the bartender. But water under the bridge. They still get married.
(The characters striked out do not appear in this episode)
- Jay Pritchett
- Gloria Pritchett
- Manny Delgado
- Claire Dunphy
- Phil Dunphy
- Haley Dunphy
- Alex Dunphy
- Luke Dunphy
- Mitchell Pritchett
- Cameron Tucker
- Lily Tucker-Pritchett
- Elizabeth Banks as Sal
- Nosheen Phoenix as Daliya
- Janelle Marra as Valerie
- Dina Waters as Art Teacher
- Michael Masini as Anthony Lombardo
- Rachael Marie as Gabby
- Ian Patrick Williams as Minister
- Olivia Rose Keegan as Simone
- Trevor Anthony as Delivery Man
- Finneas O'Connell as Singer
- Abe Zuckerman as Bassist
- Aidan Gould as Drummer
- Sal reappears from "Great Expectations".
- Gabby returns from "Someone to Watch Over Lily".
- Alex was previously seen playing the cello in "Princess Party". She also mentioned in "Someone to Watch Over Lily" that she plays it.
- In a deleted scene of this episode, it is revealed that Mrs. Ko, Mitch and Cam's landlady from "Slow Down Your Neighbors", died in the past two years.
- Aidan Gould, who portrays the drummer of Alex's band in this episode, is the elder brother of Nolan Gould, who portrays Luke.
- Fineas O Connell who plays a singer will return in Won't You Be Our Neighbor