Claire can't seem to find the right time to fire one of her employees, while back at home, Phil thinks he caught Luke with a girl in his bed, and no one seems to notice that Alex has moved back home for the summer. Jay refuses to accept that it might be harder to re-enter the workforce than he thought, and Cameron and Mitchell butt heads on how to share time with Lily now that Cameron took a summer job in Kansas City.
We open at the Dunphy household. Claire and Phil are sleeping in their beds, it's night time. There is a noise of something or someone moving, it wakes only Phil up. Phil goes straight to Lukes' bedroom as he is sure it's where the noise is coming from. Phil opens Luke's bedroom door and shines a torch on Luke's bed. To his surprise there is a girl sleeping in Luke's bed along with him. Phil quickly turns off the torch and closes the bedroom door. Phil has a stunned look on his face and quietly races back to his and Claire's bedroom. Phil tries to wake Claire by saying "Claire! There's a girl in Luke's bed!" to which Claire responds with "Where's Luke?" Phil answer by saying that he is there with her. Phil and Claire walk to Luke's bedroom. Phil asks if he should make a noise and scare her off, Claire sarcastically asks him if she's a girl or a possum. Phil opens the door and shines the torch in once again, with Claire looking in too. This time the girl has disappeared and Claire thinks it was Phil's imagination. Claire adds "You thought you saw something that wasn't there; it's dark, and we shared an entire bottle of wine", Phil agrees.
We're still at the Dunphy household. Andy is there and it's morning. Andy and Phil are sorting out contracts together. Phil says there's only one thing left to do, but Andy tells him he's already scheduled it. Phil tells him "If I could bottle you up and put you into a cologne, you know what I would call it? Initiative.". Andy states that he needs Phils advice, Andy begins "You remember my cousin, back in Utah, the real estate developer", stating that his cousin needs someone, now, so he's leaving to go help him. Alex interrupts them rolling in her suitcase saying "Hey!", Alex then gets upset after realising no one knew she was coming back although she told them and put it on the calendar, then stating that Sanjay's parents are throwing him a 3 day welcome home party and have made him a suit out of marigolds. Luke comes in extremely happy and sees Alex, "Hey! This is a nice surprise pumpkin!", Alex beings to ask "Was I too subtle with the way I put it on the calendar ?" after Alex points we see the words "ALEX HOME WOO!" and a giant circle with 4 arrows pointing to it. Alex walks out and Luke starts to whistle, while making his breakfast. All attention is now on Luke as Andy states "Someone woke up in a good mood. And there is only one reason a teenage boy is ever like that" Phil interrupts by saying "Yeah! Because it's family camp training day", Phil constantly tries to take his mind off of the fact that he thinks Luke has lost his virginity. Phil states that "Luke and I are training for the big famcathalon. You're carb-ing good idea buddy!" Luke sits down with a bunch of giant pancakes and stuffs them into his mouth. Andy reacts with "Hungry dude!" and Phil says "HUNGRY FOR FAMILY CAMP!", Andy looks at him strange and slightly alarmed.
We're now at the Tucker-Pritchett household. Lily comes in with a magazine and tells Mitchell "Don't say no right away but picture me with these". Mitchell thinks she is talking about boobs and says "Sweetie, you're 8 years old give your body time to develop". Lily tells him "These curls, I want a perm!", Mitchell tells her to take it from someone who had a perm at her age "You don't". Cameron then walks in asking what Mitchell thinks of his outfit, he's wearing blue overalls with a red and white plaid shirt and a cowboy hat. "What do you think of my airplane outfit when I land in Missouri, I want to blend right in". Mitchell then asks "With what a Jug Band?". Mitchell and Cameron are the first to be "interviewed". Cameron says "I got a job this summer as an assistant defensive coordinator for the Missouri State football team. Go Bears! I'm going home". Mitchell then says "And I have been crazy with work, which means Lily will be going back and forth between the two of us. It has been a little tense putting together a time-share agreement, though." Cameron gets confused and jumps into defence to tell Mitchell "I haven't been making it tense. You're the one who treats our daughter like she's a vacation property in Aruba.", Mitchell sarcastically tells him that he "should be promoted to very defensive coordinator.". We come back to Mitchell and Cameron talking again. Mitchell hands him a piece of paper which makes Cameron state more than he's asking "you typed up how we're gonna share our daughter. What is this some sort of custody agreement ?". The doorbell rings and Mitchell tells Cam "I just drafted a document that reflects what we discussed last night. You have a tendency to forget about things you agreed to, Cam", Cameron tells Mitchell "Okay, that's a bunch of hooey." Cameron opens the door to see a friend of theirs. He begins "Rich! I forgot to bring up the towels." and points to Mitchell whilst telling him "That proves nothing!" after Mitchell tells him he forgets things he agrees to. Rich tells Cameron "I wouldn't bother you, but I'm late for court." Mitchell carries on "It's really very straightforward. If it rains for more than three days in Missouri, that borrows against my time. Conversely, if Lily does go to gymnastics camp, I get an extra week." Cameron tells Mitchell that it's too confusing. He remembers that Rich is a lawyer and tells him to have a look at the papers and tells Cameron he's lawyer-ing up. Rich takes a look at it and says that there's a lot of ambiguous language in there and Cameron shouldn't sign it. Mitchell tells Rich that no one is asking him to. Cameron then starts to make conversation with Rich by pointing at a place int he document and stating "You know, I never would have agreed to give up 4th of July, and now I'm worried he's trying to trick me out of Biscuit Bonanza.", which makes Rich question the term "Biscuit Bonanza". Cameron then tells him "It's what it sounds like. It's a biscuit-baking competition, and then you see who can throw theirs the furthest." Mitchell has taken out his phone while they were talking and states "May I present Exhibit 'A' ?" Mitchell plays it and you hear both Cam and Lily on the phone and it's Cam explaining the term "Biscuit Bonanza" to her after he states "I don't care about 4th of July, as long as I get Lily for Biscuit Bonanza." Cameron then states that he's never hated the sound of his own voice more. Mitchell gets up to say he needs to pick up Pepper's costume. Cameron asks "What costume ?". Mitchell then plays another voice recording in which Mitchell tells Cam not to forget about Peppers costume. Cameron then asks "Okay! STOP IT!".
We are now at the Pritchett household. Manny asks "Isn't it your first day back working with Claire?" Jay says "I got to get this e-mail out first to a store that got my order wrong. Do I look like a guy who would wear a shirt with pineapples all over it?" Manny answers with "Kinda". Jay tells him "I want to use all caps to get across how angry I am, but it takes forever to press 'shift' before each letter." Manny suggest "Why don't you just put on the caps lock?" Jay asks "You can do that ?" Manny tells him to just double click. Jay does it but not he way he's supposed to and Jay states that it didn't work. Manny tells him "Well, that's because you didn't double-click. You just clicked twice." Jay asks what the difference is, Manny shows him the difference saying "Listen to me 'Double-Click.', not 'Double click.'". Manny and Jay get into a fight of what double clicking is which ends up in Manny swearing, using the f word. Gloria walks in asking what's going on. Jay states madly that he's going to work. Gloria asks "Why did you get him so mad? I need him in a good mood." Jay opens the door and closes it. Gloria begins "I need to ask him to go with me next week to JuÃ¡rez to my cousin's wedding." Manny asks "Is that safe ?" Gloria says "Of course not. The invitation says 'Short run to the reception'.".
We are outside with Haley and Andy. Andy takes a phone call, stating "I should take this", Haley then says "Oh, then I should take this", she pulls Andy's wallet out of his back pocket to pay someone. Andy's phone call halfway through gets cut off when Haley turns off the music ending in Haley overhearing Andy's cousin Evan saying "So, you're turning down a chance to move home for your dream job an actual career all because of a girl? This Haley must be something special." Evan realises he lost Andy and Andy sees that he lost Evan on the phone. He gets into the car, not knowing what Haley overheard. Haley has a shocked look on her face, with no idea of what to tell Andy.
We are at Pritchett's Closets & Blinds. Jay walks in to talk to Claire. Someone tells Jay it's good to have him back. Jay states "Good to be back, Buddy!", Jay whispers to Claire "Little trick of the trade when you don't know somebody's name, you call 'em 'buddy'.", Jay asks "So, the old office, huh? Mm. I see you got the lamp over there now. I tried it there once. You'll see." Claire tries to state " Your office is gonna be ready this afternoon. Do you want to go pick up your new-" but gets interrupted by Jay asking "So, what are we working on? Quarterly reports?" Claire responds telling him "Actually, no. This is a personnel file. I have to fire Neal today.". Jay asks "Neal?", Claire realises that he'll call him something else and describes him in the workplace. "Works in the warehouse, loves Canada, heavyset fella." Jay realises who he is and states what he calls him "Big Buddy". Claire tells him "We are losing more in shipping screw-ups than he makes. It's time.", Jay asks if she has to do that now. Claire tells him she's going to photocopy a file first, but Jay tells her that he'll do it and asks how many she wants. Claire tells him "12, double sided." but then asks if he even knows how to work a copy machine, he then tells her he built the place and walks out, he then goes the wrong way and Claire tells him that it's the other way. Someone tries to say Hi to him but he states "Not now, buddy!". Claire is "interviewed" where she says "That 'buddy' stuff may have worked for my Dad, but I wanted a more personal touch when I took over. I wanted this to be a fun place to work, so I had an arcade dance game installed in the warehouse. I figure you give them a little sugar, takes the edge off when you have to fire someone like [Neal]". We cut to Neal dancing and everyone chanting around him, Claire asks "What is going on?" Someone tells her that "Neal is tearing it up on this dance machine." Claire tells him that he's very quick and he tells her that she shouldn't worry about her high score, as she's had it for months and no one has ever beaten her. She tells him that she isn't worried about that.
(The characters striked out do not appear in this episode)
- Jay Pritchett
- Gloria Pritchett
- Manny Delgado
- Joe Pritchett
- Claire Dunphy
- Phil Dunphy
- Haley Dunphy
- Alex Dunphy
- Luke Dunphy
- Mitchell Pritchett
- Cameron Tucker
- Lily Tucker-Pritchett
- Adam DeVine as Andy Bailey
- Joe Mande as Ben
- Illeana Douglas as Janet
- Frank Caeti as Neal
- Kasey Mahaffy as Dom
- Andrew Leeds as Rich
- Ian Bratschie as Warehouse Guy
- Joe Cobden as Tourist
- Patrick Rafferty as Annie
- "Double Click" refers to Manny telling Jay to double click/tap so that he can type in all caps and Jay doesn't get it.
- Andy's 21st episode
- Luke owns a Chewbacca doll.
- Jay cries after watching Rudy.
- Claire is accused of "going Black Swan
- Joe quotes Casablanca.
- There is a reference to Star Wars made as Luke has a Chewbacca doll.