|“||This crazy bitch just messed with the wrong crazy bitch.||”|
Haley Gwendolyn Dunphy is the eldest child of Claire and Phil Dunphy and the sister of Luke and Alex. Haley has worked multiple jobs since the series began, and currently works as a style editor for the whacky lifestile brand Nerp.
Before the show
Haley was conceived before her parents got married during a Duran Duran concert ("Message Received"). Claire and Phil eloped afterwards and told everyone that the pregnancy was a surprise. They also had to suspend their honeymoon to Hawaii because of Claire's pregnancy with Haley ("Hawaii"). It is mentioned that Haley was very close to her parents when she was younger, but they grew apart once she hit adolescence ("Chirp"). Claire has stated that Haley used to hug Phil coming home from work ("See You Next Fall"), indicating that she was an affectionate child.
Haley is young and pretty. She's averaged height and very maverick and rebellious. She tends to have her hair very long, but cut it in Season 7 and in Season 8 and new forthcoming Season 9 her hair is short between blonde & dark hair and she's ready to change her wild rebellious party girl teenager in her heart's existence into A True Well-Behaved Woman.
Haley is better remembered by her family for being the pretty girl in the family, and most of her interests and advantages revolve around that.
One recurring theme with Haley is that she seems to share a lot of Claire's personality when she herself was in her rebellious teenage phase, even both describing their mothers as "psycho control freaks" ("Earthquake"). This frustrates Claire who admits that she doesn't want her children to make the same mistakes she did ("Pilot").
Haley is portrayed as somewhat slow and ditzy, often needing to take some time to get jokes. Her lack of intelligence is a constant point of mockery and condescension from Alex and, especially, Claire, who is almost cruel in her derision of her daughter's slow wit. It is also the catalyst of her becoming surprisingly self-reproachful as she later confesses that she is aware of her stupidity and is heavily marred by her family's mockery and derision of her as a failure ("Party Crasher").
It's revealed early on that she's very popular in her high school and as a stereotypical teen she seemingly acts carefree and irresponsible, especially concerning her academics. She however is shown to gradually mature as the series progresses, learning to take responsibility for her actions and future, taking care of her parents and siblings and unexpectedly revealing moments of wisdom and uncommon prescience ("Queer Eyes, Full Hearts", "Do Not Push"). Even so, she takes pleasure in using her shrewdness to occasionally take advantage of her parents and people around her for her benefit ("Suddenly, Last Summer") and tries to make money.
Haley's interests mainly concerns her image with people outside her family and shopping ("Express Christmas"). In season five, she is chosen to be part of an exhibit to display her photography from class, which is revealed to be of her family ("iSpy"). Soon after she became an adult, Haley has developed a liking to drinking alcohol, an interest she seems to share with her mother ("Haley's 21st Birthday").
Due to Andy's influence on her life, Haley is trying to be a better person ("Clean Out Your Junk Drawer"). Haley also wants to slow down on her wild partying ("Express Yourself"). Haley told Andy, "I like the me I am when I'm with you." After Andy Bailey Left L.A. and Haley Met Rainer Shine-The Weatherman of the fictional station in L.A., CA called KJQS-TV ABC 12 (unlike both Santa Barbara's KEYT 3 ABC, KCOY-TV CBS 12 & The Real WALT DISNEY/ABC Company Station KABC-TV ABC 7) and Father Phil Shocked & Mother Claire Got Crass & Been Mean to her to join the edgy fuss. After 2 Failed Engage to be Married, She & Rainer Shine Broke Up & Quit Her Job although the season. This Coming Season What Haley Going to Do Now?
Assistant Fashion Designer (Former)
For 2 Seasons (2014-16) with GAVIN SINCLAIR-The Fashion Experts and having the unknown triangle & square with Jr. Realtor Andrew Hamilton Duane "Andy" Bailey III & Elizabeth "Beth" Collins are all 3 vying for the affections and Haley's Step-grandmother Gloria Maria Ramirez Delgado Pritchett Confronts her boss, partner and would-be co-owner MR. SINCLAIR and fresh and what worse? MR. SINCLAIR Fires Haley Dunphy after Close to 2 Years with him after seeing Andy and her unseen co-workers felt the same way on because she seeing an another man and her family are all shocked from the bad news has been told & announced by herself as early in Season 8 .
Haley is described by Claire in the "Pilot" as being very much like her when she was a teenager. So she tries to makes sure that her daughter won't make the same mistakes. Haylie starts dating Dylan during the first episode, but it is revealed later on that she hasn't been single since she was 9. She is concerned about her popularity at school which she attributes to her embarrassment of her parents. She is learning to drive and isn't very good (she once refused to pull over when being signed by a police car because she was afraid of cops), but later improved and got her license. She and Dylan have an off-again on-again relationship as they do for most of the show.
Dylan wins Haley back after performing a song outside her house on Valentine's Day. Haley tells her family that she does not want to go to college because she believes it's a waste of time. But she later explains to Alex that she's scared about leaving high school since she's barely passing the 11th grade.
While vacationing with the family in Wyoming, Dylan proposes to Haley in front of her entire family. Claire immediately says no for her, causing tension in their relationship since Haley believes that her mother won't let her make her own decisions. However, Haley reveals to her mom that she was going to say "no" to Dylan's proposal. Dylan ends up going missing, but he's later found after getting a job as a ranch hand. So they break up once again. She is afraid that she won't be accepted into a college, but she is wait-listed by a college at the end of "Election Day". After months of waiting and finally accepting that she won't be accepted into a college, she decides to move in with Dylan after she graduates. Luke confesses though that he hid her acceptance letter (along with a lot of other mail) because he doesn't want her to go. After finding out that she is in fact going to college, she and Dylan decide to go to prom.
Haley finally goes to the college as shown in "Schooled". But a few episodes later, she goes off to college only to be kicked out for underage drinking and (accidental) battery of a police officer. She then moves back in with her family and starts having to deal with the pressure from her parents to attend community college, go to work and get her life together in general before she is able to re-apply at the college next semester.
Haley is living back with her parents and attending community college. In "Three Dinners" she is pressured by her parents who do not believe she has any future plans or aspirations, but she proves them wrong by revealing her interest in fashion photography, and the blog she is keeping to earn extra money. In "ISpy", her work is featured in a photography exhibition (one of only five in her class chosen) and one of her photographs is sold. In "A Fair to Remember," Haley encounters Andy for the first time. Although, initially, they don't completely hit it off; as the day continues, they seem to have developed a mutual liking for one another as evidenced by their playful banter and friendly teasing. As the season progresses, so too does Haley's feelings for Andy. In "Other People's Children," Haley steps in as a stand-in for Andy's girlfriend Beth for the video love letter he's making for her with Phil's help. Andy lifts Haley up and holds her in his arms and looks deep into her eyes as he recites how much he loves his girlfriend. The look on Haley's face confirms she is beginning to fall for the nice guy. Later, Haley watches Andy lovingly as he and Phil reenact the movie "Gravity." She tells Alex, "It's weird. There's something about him." Alex replies, "Yeah, he's just like dad." Despite this comparison grossing Haley out initially, she can't seem to stop the feelings she is developing for Andy. In "The Wedding (Part 1)," Haley agrees to drive Andy to the airport. When Andy's phone rings, he asks Haley to answer it because he doesn't want to put their lives at risk since he's driving. Haley reads a text that his flight has been delayed and also sees a text from Beth telling Andy that it's over. At the coffee shop, Haley confronts Andy about the text message and if he is sure about getting on that plane. Andy tells Haley that Beth just likes the drama and that Haley should drop the issue. In "The Wedding (Part 2)," Haley can't stop checking her phone due to concern about Andy. Alex confronts Haley about her feelings for Andy, which Haley denies. Alex finds the whole thing hilarious because Andy is not Haley's usual type. Haley returns to the coffee shop and tells Andy he "deserves better" than Beth. After returning to the new wedding venue (Cam and Mitch's house), Haley keeps checking her phone for updates on Andy. She tells Alex she is going to invite Andy to hang out at the wedding. Alex warns Haley that she better know what she is doing. Alex says, “Here's the thing about nice, quiet dorks like Andy. You get over us much faster than we get over you.” With Alex's warning fresh in her mind, Haley lies and tells Andy she was speaking generally when Andy calls her to ask if she meant anyone in particular when she said he deserved better. She tells Andy, "The hardest part is just figuring out what you want." Andy says that's what he thought and they say goodbye to each other disappointed. Unbeknownst to Haley, Andy pulls away in a taxi that he was waiting in right outside the house.
Haley is still living in the basement of her parents' house. On her 21st birthday, her dad buys her a brand new car. She gets a job working as the assistant to fashion designer, Gavin Sinclair after she and Andy help each other prepare for job interviews. In "The Cold," Andy and Haley share their first kiss, which visibly affects Haley. Despite kissing, Andy and Haley continue to be just friends. It's revealed throughout the season that they have been spending a lot of time together. They attend a carnival ("Closet? You'll Love It!") and a Radiohead concert ("American Skyper"), get cronuts together ("Connection Lost"), and even help each other prepare for job interviews that help them to secure job positions ("Queer Eyes, Full Hearts"); however, both secretly have stronger feelings than just friends for one another. When Haley visits Andy in the hospital before his appendectomy surgery, and believing Andy is unconscious, Haley confesses he has a shot with her ("Closet? You'll Love It!"). A couple weeks later, after Andy can't stop thinking about Haley, he decides to have the big talk with her about what she had told him in the hospital, but, unfortunately, she's now dating a doctor she met on that same day ("Grill, Interrupted"). Later, she tells Andy that she isn't looking for anything serious so Andy decides against telling her how he really feels. Without knowing how Haley really feels about him and due to Phil's encouragement to propose to Beth, after Andy told him he has a "serious connection" with another girl, Andy decides to propose to his girlfriend, Beth, in "American Skyper." Haley confides in her dad about how she thinks Beth is after her because Beth thinks Haley is in love with Andy. Phil asks her if she is and Haley says "no" and then goes on to say that she cares about him, he makes her laugh, and she likes spending time with him. Phil asks if she thinks about Andy when he is not around. She replies, "Sometimes I see something funny and I think, 'Oh, Andy would love that; I wish he were here so I could share it with him.'" Phil replies, "That sounds like love to me." With tears in her eyes, Haley says it doesn't matter anyway because he's in love with someone else. Andy knocks on the door and enters the room as Haley wipes her eyes. He has come to say goodbye. Haley and Andy hug, and Phil, who is watching them, realizes based on Andy's facial expressions that Haley is the girl Andy was talking about earlier. Phil tries to tell them that they love each other and that Andy is making a huge mistake by proposing to Beth, but they cannot hear him as the sound on his iPad has gone off. Andy leaves with Beth to head to the beach where he is planning to propose to her that day. Haley closes the front door behind them and stomps off upset and frustrated.
Haley is still living in the basement of her parents' house while working in fashion. She is no longer attending her two-year community college because she graduated after spending three years there ("Express Yourself"). After Phil realizes that Haley and Andy have feelings for each other, he calls Haley so she can stop Andy's proposal ("Summer Lovin"). By the time she gets to the beach Andy likes and after Claire tells her to take a moment to consider if she's sure about what she's about to do, it's too late. She has to watch heartbroken as Andy proposes to Beth. After some time goes by, a depressed Haley starts dating Dylan again. A couple months after Andy's proposal, Andy is accidentally told that Haley tried to stop his proposal when he overhears Phil and Claire talking in their kitchen. He becomes so distressed at hearing this news that he ends up eating his emotions and gains a lot of weight. A couple months later, Haley and Dylan run into Andy (who has now lost the extra pounds) and Beth at the movies ("The More You Ignore Me"). When the movie ends, the two couples go out for burgers and beers together. Afterwards, Haley breaks up with Dylan in her car while driving back home. A couple weeks later, Haley encounters Andy again, but this time at Phil's Sexy, Sexy House. They almost kiss on the couch before they hear other intruders and hide. When everyone leaves and it's safe for them to come back out, they blame their almost kiss on the sexiness of the house. Once Haley exits the house, she immediately runs back in to give Andy a passionate kiss, which he willingly reciprocates. In "Clean Out Your Junk Drawer," it's revealed that Haley and Andy had sex, which leads to them having an affair since Andy is still engaged to Beth. In "White Christmas," Andy and Haley can't keep their hands off each other and they end up getting caught putting their pants back on in a locked closet. Phil tells Andy that if this is something real, it's time for him to step up and be a man and tell Beth the truth. When Andy goes to break things off with Beth, she tells him that she has been cheating on him with two other guys for the past few months. Andy and Beth break up, leaving Andy free to officially start dating Haley. Also, it's revealed that Andy passed his real estate license test after Haley helped him cram. In "The Storm," Andy tells Haley he wants to slow things down a bit between them in order for them to catch up emotionally to where they are physically so they don't burn out. He says he wants to wait for the perfect moment so they can start their relationship right. Haley points out that the perfect moment is the one they are currently experiencing outside in the rain. They then share a romantic kiss out in the storm. In "Express Yourself," Haley tells Andy, "I love normal Andy. Tomato-soup-and-grilled-cheese Andy. Still-in-bed-by-11:00 Andy. Uses-the-word-tummy Andy." She goes on to say, "I like the me I am when I'm with you." In "Double Click," Andy's cousin Evan offers him his dream career as a real estate agent, but he'd have to relocate back to Utah. Phil and Haley tell Andy to take the job so he does. Haley and Andy decide to do a long-distance relationship. As they say goodbye to each other at the airport, Andy tells Haley he doesn't regret a single minute he spent with her and Haley tells Andy he is the first man she ever loved.
Haley's family are very important to her, they can also be viewed as her friends. In the first Season Haley tends to not want to be friends with her family. However, as the seasons progress, she finds herself becoming friends with Gloria, Jay, and her uncles Cam and Mitch. Her family and their relationships are listed below:
Alex is Haley's younger sister, she also happens to be her polar opposite. While Alex is smart, quick witted, and geeky, Haley is popular, outgoing and shallow. At the beginning of the series Haley and Alex had a much more strained relationship with Alex always trying to stand apart from her sister and Haley constantly mocking Alex on her life choices, such as clothing, homework, boys and Alex would return the mocking. As years have progressed the two girls have grown closer. Haley and Alex once convinced Luke that he was adopted, and Phil's old girlfriend wanted to take him home. Though they still mock and tease each other, it is in a more playful way and you know that they love and care about each other.
Claire is Haley's Mom, Claire makes sure that her daughter does not, in her words, "wake up on a beach in Florida half-naked". Claire tries to keep her daughter safe and protected. Although she doesn't do this with Alex as Alex is smarter than her family and knows what not to do. Claire and Haley had a very close relationship as Haley grew up, but when she became a teenager Claire and Haley grew apart and Haley became like her Mom, which is something that Claire fears, although they did grow apart they prove each time that they still have a very strong loving relationship.
Phil is Haley's Dad, and makes sure that he tries to keep his daughter safe and protected, but usually he fails in the process, sometimes humiliating her. Phil tries his best to keep up with her, although gets scared he's going to lose her to boys. Phil has tried multiple times to keep Haley's virginity safe guarded although he failed, evidently.
Phil finds out that Haley has lost her virginity, which bothers him, realizing his 'little girl' has grown up. Haley later comforts Phil, telling him she'll always be his girl, she just isn't little anymore, and she'll always need him. It is implied later that her first time is with Dylan.
Jay is Haley's Grandpa, Jay doesn't have a lot of interaction with her, but they seem to have a great friendship.
Haley would rather go to a party than stay the whole night with her grandpa while they do a thing called 'Jay's Night', where all the kids in the family stay over at Jay and Gloria's house, eat Jay's Sloppy Jays and watch a western movie. Jay finds out that Haley wants to go to a party but restricts her from going. He takes her shoes to stop her from walking outside and he makes her stay there. Gloria convinces him to let her go and he does. Haley then thanks her Grandpa and Jay tells her that he will track her down and Haley tells Jay that she know he will.
Mitch is Haley's uncle. They seem to have a great friendship. Mitch was invited to celebrate Haley’s 21st birthday party at a bar (“Haley's 21st Birthday”) and he and Gloria were going to go out with Haley to some late-night clubs before they both got too tired and couldn’t go (“Knock 'Em Down”). Haley even feels comfortable enough discussing her love life with her uncle Mitch (“Connection Lost”).
Claire wants Mitch to tell her who Haley has been recently dating since Haley usually goes to him to talk about boys. Mitch tells Claire, “There was one boy that she thought she might like, but she was weirdly secretive about him.” Based on past episodes, it’s pretty obvious that Haley was talking about Andy to an oblivious Mitch.
Haley has a few boyfriends from Season 1-7; however, two of her boyfriends standout from the others: Dylan and Andy. Dylan was Haley's high school boyfriend and they've had an on and off (currently off) relationship throughout the series. Haley's relationship with Andy was more of a "will they or won't they" type thing until they finally got together in Season 7. Haley told Andy that he is the first man she ever loved ("Double Click"). Information about her love interests are listed below.
Dylan is Haley's on-and-off boyfriend. He is featured frequently throughout the series, especially in the first season where he is introduced as Haley's first real boyfriend. He still maintains a close relationship with Phil, though Claire is not very fond of him.
Dylan goes with the family to a ranch in Wyoming. After Haley (and Claire) rejects Dylan's marriage proposal, he runs away and subsequently gets a job at the ranch.
Dylan and Haley get back together after she sees Dylan in Disneyland, working as one of the Dapper Dans. Post-Disneyland Dylan worked as a limo driver, during which time he has contact with Haley. Although they don't seem exclusive, he seems to be the only consistent guy who Haley dates back then.
It is implied that Haley's first time is with Dylan. This is then confirmed by Claire, her mother, who knew about it but kept it a secret from her husband, Haley's father, who doesn't want his little girl growing up, Claire was trying to spare his pain. Claire then tells Phil and Phil tells her thank you for not telling, him until now.
Haley begins dating Dylan again because she is heartbroken over Andy proposing to Beth.
The More You Ignore Me
Haley breaks up with Dylan in her car after attending a movie and going out to dinner with Andy and Beth. Haley says she feels like everyone in the world is moving forward and they are moving backwards. Dylan exits the car upset.
Ethan is a boy Claire invites to go to Disneyland in "Disneyland" with the family because she wants Haley to fall for him and completely get over Dylan, who had moved to Wyoming in "Dude Ranch". Haley, adamant that she wasn't going to babysit him, quickly changes her opinion after meeting him, much to Claire's delight. But then much to Claire's chagrin, Dylan shows up at Disneyland completely unannounced. Claire tries to get Haley not to see or notice him, but fails. He rushes off after running into them, and Haley realizes that she still likes Dylan. So she ditches Ethan, leaving Alex with Ethan, another thing that Claire did not like. After seeing Dylan as a 'Dapper Dan', Haley ditches Dylan and begins talking to Ethan again, bumping Alex out the way. After some time, Dylan meets up with Ethan and Haley again in his Little John costume declaring his love for Haley. Ethan and Dylan get into a minor scuffle. At the end of the day, Haley eventually dumps Ethan, Ethan leaves with someone he ran into, and Haley and Dylan get back together.
Trivia: Ethan is played by Haley's portrayer's (Sarah Hyland) ex-boyfriend, Matt Prokop.
Vincent, though we never see him, is mentioned in Season 6. He is apparently an ex-con who works at a florist shop. She intentionally did not tell her parents about him because she knew they wouldn't approve of her dating an ex-con.
Kenny is a temporary love interest seen in "Party Crasher" whom Haley met at work where he designs jeans for their boutique. Kenny lives a bohemian lifestyle and sports a ponytail and a bushy beard. Claire soon realizes that Haley is dating the older and disgusting Kenny just to get back at Phil (something she is guilty of herself when she was younger) and warns Phil not to do anything to make it go away. Phil, however at the last minute was not able to resist and tries to go after them, saying no guy on earth is good enough for her "little girl". Witnessing this, Haley hugs Phil and subsequently dumps Kenny.
Scott is a temporary love interest seen in Season 5's "Other People's Children." Haley waits all day for him to come pick her up for their lunch date. He shows up hours later in his car outside Haley's house. His excuse for being late is that he fell asleep. He tells Haley, "You were the first or second person I texted after I woke up." Haley replies that he should have been rested enough then to come to the front door. Haley tells Scott off by repeating comments Andy made earlier that day. She says, "I would rather wait for someone who would walk through a blizzard for me and who only honks to support the troops." She storms back into her house instead of going on her lunch date with Scott.
Chase is a temporary love interest seen in Season 6's "Closet? You'll Love It!." He doesn't seem like the brightest person in the world. Haley attends a carnival with him and Andy. Haley seems to be enjoying her time at the carnival with Andy more than she is with Chase. Chase seems to be a third wheel, not understanding Haley and Andy's jokes and shared sense of humor. Chase works at the Sunglass Hut so he picked out the new sunglasses Haley is wearing that day. When Chase's manager calls him, Chase says he can't wait until the Fall when his manager is off to college. Chase leaves to take the phone call and when he returns he has a foam finger with him. He asks Haley to help him find his keys, but then realizes his keys are in his jacket that he is no longer wearing.
Will is a temporary love interest seen in Season 6's "Grill, Interrupted." He is a doctor who Haley met the same day she went to visit Andy in the hospital for his appendectomy surgery. Will asks Andy to help him write a card for Haley and Andy agrees. Later, when Andy reads the card to Haley, Haley is disappointed that her boyfriend seems so into her. Will also got Haley a present, a gold heart necklace. Haley tells Andy she just wanted something fun; she wasn't looking for anything serious.
Andy is Joe Pritchett's former manny (male nanny), Phil's former real estate assistant and Haley's boyfriend. Andy and Haley have had a "will they or won't they" relationship ever since Andy was first introduced in Season 5. They finally started dating in Season 7.
A Fair to Remember
Haley encounters Andy for the first time. She has come over to her grandfather's house to drink his beer and sunbathe by his pool. She lies to Andy claiming she is Alex, but Andy instantly sees through it when she confuses him being a manny with him claiming to be her Uncle Manny. Andy warns Haley he is going to call Mr. and Mrs. P to tell them where the two missing beers went. He even tries to get proof by taking a picture of Haley out by the pool, drinking one of the beers. Haley calls him a "perv" and Andy tries to get the beer out of Haley's hand, which causes her to drop it. Shards of glass fall into the pool and Andy is forced to go in to retrieve them since Haley refuses to do so. Haley teases Andy about the existence of his U.S. Coast Guard girlfriend. Andy insists she is not imaginary and says it has not been a pleasure meeting Haley. However, when Andy cuts himself on glass he is getting out of the pool, Haley holds his finger to put some pressure on it. Haley asks him why he is a manny anyway, to which he replies that he likes kids and he's saving up for college. Later that night, unbeknownst to each other, Haley calls Gloria to confess she had a couple of beers by the pool and broke one of them, and Andy lies to Jay, saying he had a sip of beer by the pool after Joe went to sleep and a bottle broke. Andy lied in order to take the blame for Haley and protect her from getting into trouble. However, Jay doesn't care because when his kids were small he used to drink beers after they went to sleep.
Other People's Children
Phil offers to help Andy make a video love letter as an anniversary present for Andy's girlfriend Beth, who Andy says he barely ever gets to see. Andy accepts enthusiastically. While the two are making the video at the Dunphy house, Haley waits for her lunch date who is running a few hours late. Andy says her date's behavior is so rude and that a real man would be more considerate of her time. She mockingly counters with, "That's why every year People magazine names the most considerate man alive." Andy tells her to make fun of him all she wants, but when she grows up, she'll find out what qualities make up a real man. Phil then shows up to apply make-up to Andy's face. Later, Haley steps in as the stand-in for Beth. Andy lifts Haley up and holds her in his arms and looks deep into her eyes as he recites how much he loves his girlfriend. The look on Haley's face confirms she is beginning to fall for the nice guy. When Haley's rude and inconsiderate lunch date finally arrives, Haley tells him off by repeating comments Andy made earlier that day. She yells at him that she would rather wait for someone who would walk through a blizzard for her and who only honks to support the troops. Later, Haley watches Andy lovingly as he and Phil re-enact the movie "Gravity." She tells Alex that there is something about Andy and Alex says he is just like dad, which then grosses Haley out.
The Wedding (Part 1)
Haley agrees to drive Andy to the airport. He is planning to go to Utah to visit Beth. As they drive, Andy tells Haley that she is funny, pretty, and smart in an original way so why shouldn't a guy feel lucky to love her. Although she pretends to shrug them off, Haley is secretly flattered and touched by his sincere compliments. When Andy's phone rings, he asks her to answer it because he doesn't want to put their lives at risk since he's driving. Haley reads a text that his flight has been delayed and also sees a text from Beth telling Andy that it's over. Andy says he'll wait for a taxi to pick him up at a coffee shop and Haley tells him she'll grab a coffee with him. As they sit in the coffee shop, Haley takes a picture of Andy and Andy compliments her by saying that it is honestly the best picture anyone has ever taken of him. Andy asks if he can send the picture to Beth and Haley decides to breach the subject of the text message she read and whether or not Andy is sure about getting on that plane. Andy tells her that Beth does this from time to time because she just likes the drama. Andy doesn't want to discuss it anymore and gives Haley the keys to his car. Haley leaves.
The Wedding (Part 2)
Haley can't stop checking her phone due to concern about Andy. Alex confronts Haley about her feelings for Andy, which Haley denies. Alex finds the whole thing hilarious because Andy is not Haley's usual type. When Haley returns to the coffee shop to talk to Andy. His flight has been delayed again and the wedding has been moved due to a fire. Andy flirts by saying the fire explains Haley's "smokin'" dress. Haley then invites Andy to hang out at the wedding since he's just sitting around. He replies that he isn't dressed for it, but, if he was with her, nobody would even notice him. Haley tells Andy that he "deserves better" than Beth before she heads back to the wedding. At the new wedding venue (Cam and Mitch's house), Haley keeps checking her phone for updates on Andy. She tells Alex she is going to invite Andy to hang out at the wedding since his flight has been delayed again. Alex warns Haley that she better know what she is doing. Alex says, “Here's the thing about nice, quiet dorks like Andy. You get over us much faster than we get over you.” With Alex's warning fresh in her mind, Haley lies and tells Andy she was speaking generally when Andy calls her to ask if she meant anyone in particular when she said he deserved better. She tells Andy, "The hardest part is just figuring out what you want." Andy says that's what he thought and they say goodbye to each other disappointed. Unbeknownst to Haley, Andy pulls away in a taxi that he was waiting in right outside the house.
Haley and Andy talk about what happened between them the day of the wedding. They both agree that they are better off as friends. Andy says it would have been a disaster if they had kissed and that the kiss would have affected Haley more than him. Haley seems offended so Andy clarifies by saying that kissing her would have rocked his world since she is so pretty and out of his league, but he still insists that it would have hit her harder. Haley tries to prove Andy wrong by planting a kiss on him in the disguise of a hug. However, it seems Andy is proven right as Haley appears to have been extremely affected by the kiss.
Queer Eyes, Full Hearts
Andy and Haley help each other prepare for job interviews. When Claire wants to know why Haley is spending so much time with Andy, Haley lies and tells her that she and Andy are having sex. Haley thought that lie would be the quickest way to get her Mom off her back. Andy interviews with Phil who hires him as his real estate assistant. Claire confronts Andy about what Haley told her about them sleeping together, but Andy assures her that nothing inappropriate is happening between him and her daughter and that they have only been helping each other get ready for job interviews. Andy tells Phil and Claire that Haley is interviewing with fashion designer Gavin Sinclair as they speak. When Haley comes home and tells them she got the job working as Gavin Sinclair's assistant, Andy hugs her and tells her he never doubted her. Haley tells them that after she was turned away initially, she went to her car and cried, but then she thought about how brave Andy was talking to her dad so she went back in there. Phil points out to Claire again that "sometimes a boy can be a good distraction." Claire agrees by saying, "Yeah, he might be exactly what she needs right now. And, I don't know about you, but I'm sensing a little heat over there." Haley and Andy break their hug and Andy tells Haley's parents that he can finally start to save up and get Beth an engagement ring. Phil and Claire are surprised and disappointed that Haley and Andy are really not together.
Haley's family comes to the false conclusion that Haley has married Andy in Vegas because she is pregnant with his baby. In reality, Andy and Haley had gotten Cronuts (doughnut + croissant) together and Andy posted a picture of the two of them on Facebook enjoying the dessert and smiling happily at one another. Haley had forgotten her phone in Andy's car, Andy then drove to a friend's wedding in Vegas. But since her phone has a tracker, they thought she was with him.
Closet? You'll Love It!
Andy and Haley attend a carnival together with Haley's new boyfriend. Beth texted Andy saying she couldn't make it because she was too tired from Coast Guard training. Andy tries to win Beth a stuffed penguin and Haley tells him if he really wants to impress her he should try for the big stuffed elephant instead. Andy says the penguin is just as good. Haley seems to be enjoying this time with Andy more than she is with her boyfriend. The boyfriend seems to be a third wheel, not understanding Haley and Andy's jokes and shared sense of humor. Andy keeps having sharp pains in his abdomen, which Haley teases is from him stuffing his face with all the fried food he's eaten that day. However, Andy ends up in the hospital later with appendicitis. Haley rushes to the hospital to be with him before his surgery because she doesn't want him to be scared and alone. When she thinks Andy is unconscious, she tells him, "If I'm your elephant, you have a shot." Beth then arrives and Haley leaves, hurt. Andy opens his eyes and watches as Haley exits.
Andy says he tried to go on with Beth, but hasn't been able to stop thinking about Haley. He says he is going to have the big talk with Haley when he sees her. However, when Haley arrives at her grandfather's house, she now has a new doctor boyfriend whom she met the same day she visited Andy in the hospital. Andy tries to talk to Haley a couple times about what she said, but every time they are interrupted by Haley's new boyfriend. Haley's boyfriend asks Andy if he will help him write a card for Haley and Andy agrees. Andy tells him to write what he feels and, unbeknownst to Haley's boyfriend, Andy recites his own feelings for Haley. Later, when Haley is about to leave, she asks Andy to read her the card because her boyfriend "writes like a doctor." Despite his reluctance, Andy reads the card. The card reads: "Dear Haley, I know how eyes work, but I never knew how they sparkled until I met you. I know how hearts work, but I never knew they could sing until I met you." Not realizing Andy wrote the words in the card, Haley criticizes it because she's disappointed that her boyfriend seems so into her. She just wanted something fun; she wasn't looking for anything serious. Andy is disappointed that Haley feels that way about relationships so he replies that it's good that she figured out what she wants before anyone got hurt. She thanks Andy and kisses him on the cheek in farewell. Andy, looking crestfallen, watches Haley walk out the door.
Beth is visiting Andy and she is acting passive-aggressive towards Haley because she seems jealous of Haley's relationship with Andy. She even sets Haley's hair on fire at one point during the day. Andy tells Haley that Beth is very concerned about her, asking him where Haley works, where she goes at night, and whether she hikes alone. Later, Andy confides in Phil about how Beth has been sending him signals to propose, but that he is conflicted because there is another girl whom he has a serious connection with, he just doesn't know how she feels. Phil advises Andy to propose to Beth if he truly loves her. Haley confides in her dad about how she thinks Beth is after her because Beth thinks Haley is in love with Andy. Phil asks her if she is and Haley says "no" and then goes on to say that she cares about him, he makes her laugh, and she likes spending time with him. Phil asks if she thinks about Andy when he is not around. She replies, "Sometimes I see something funny and I think, 'Oh, Andy would love that; I wish he were here so I could share it with him.'" Phil replies, "That sounds like love to me." With tears in her eyes, Haley says it doesn't matter anyway because he's in love with someone else. Andy knocks on the door and enters the room as Haley wipes her eyes. He has come to say goodbye. Haley and Andy hug, and Phil, who is watching them, realizes based on Andy's facial expressions that Haley is the girl Andy was talking about earlier. Phil tries to tell them that they love each other and that Andy is making a huge mistake by proposing to Beth, but they cannot hear him as the sound on his iPad has gone off. Andy leaves with Beth to head to the beach where he is planning to propose to her that day. Haley closes the front door behind them and stomps off upset and frustrated.
Phil is on the phone with Cam. He tells Cam he wants to talk to Haley and that his message is urgent. Cam throws his phone to Claire who puts it on speaker phone for Haley and the whole family to hear the message. Phil reveals that Andy is planning to propose to his girlfriend, Beth. Everyone thinks this is cute until Phil tells them to stop thinking that it's cute because Haley and Andy love each other but don't know it. When Haley asks Phil why he thinks Andy is in love with her, he tells her that he saw it in the way that Andy hugged her goodbye; he knows what the look of love in another man's eyes looks like. Since Haley knows what beach Andy likes, she races to the beach to stop Andy from proposing to Beth. However, this plan goes awry when Claire stops Haley to ask her if she is sure about what she is about to do and whether Andy will be a short-term thing or a long-term relationship. Haley says she doesn't know and asks shouldn't they get the chance to see what they are. Haley then turns back around to see Andy down on one knee proposing to Beth; before Haley can stop them or even walk up to them, Beth says yes. Haley then realizes that their fate has been decided for them. A couple of months later, we see a depressed Haley who seems to have been crying quite a lot since the incident. Phil plans on stopping Claire and Haley's pity party and ends up taking the Dunphy family (excluding Alex Dunphy) out to the movies. Phil sees Dylan and calls him over, which results in the reconciliation of Haley and Dylan's on-and-off relationship. A couple of months later, we see Andy visit the Dunphys with some completed paperwork for Phil. Haley walks into the kitchen to see Andy. Andy and Haley then have an awkward encounter; they are now both in relationships. Dylan then greets Andy as "Haley's boyfriend" letting him know they're back together. After Andy leaves, Phil and Claire discuss how Haley rushed to the beach to stop Andy's proposal as she had feelings for him. Andy accidentally overhears them when he comes back to return Phil's pen. Andy says he's fine and then questions aloud how crazy life is because he had feelings for Haley and, at the same time, Haley had feelings for him and he had no clue. Andy then grabs a cupcake that he had declined earlier and shoves it into his mouth and grabs a second one as he walks out of the kitchen, eating his feelings. In September, an overweight Andy attends a Pritchett-Dunphy family get together. Haley overhears her Mom and Dad discussing how Andy found out that Haley tried to stop his proposal and it is the reason Andy got fat. Haley wonders if she should talk to him about it and they tell her it's her decision to make. Haley ends up talking to Andy, but he questions why she is bringing all this up now. She asks if he has feelings for her and he replies he is engaged, which Haley says is not an answer. This leads to them sharing insults about each others' significant others. Andy and Haley agree it was a good thing they never got together and stomp off angrily in opposite directions.
The More You Ignore Me
Haley and Dylan run into Andy and Beth at the movies. There are no other seats together so Haley is forced to sit next to Andy. Haley says it has been awkward between them ever since Andy got engaged. The zombie movie hits too close to home for Haley because the movie couple seems to be in the same situation as Andy and Haley (the only difference obviously being, that Andy and Haley have no zombies to contend with). After the movie, Haley and Dylan go out for burgers and beers with Andy and Beth. Haley pulls Andy aside to ask him why he wasn't as affected as her by the movie. He tells her that if he had watched that movie a few months ago, it would have been really hard because he was pretty hung up on her, but it's all good now since he started seeing Beth in a whole new way. Haley says that makes sense, but she is visibly disappointed. After leaving the restaurant, Beth suggests they invite Haley and Dylan to the wedding and Andy says that is a good idea. At the same time, Haley breaks up with Dylan because she feels like everyone in the world is moving forward and they are moving backwards. Dylan exits the car upset.
Phil's Sexy, Sexy House
Andy catches Haley, who he originally thought was Phil, trying to drain the bathtub because she forgot to turn the faucet off the night before when sneaking into the house that Phil and Andy are the only ones authorized to be in. Andy offers to help Haley clean up. When the faucet gets stuck, Andy tries to help Haley with it, but they end up accidentally falling into the bathtub together. Their clothes are soaked so they have to take them off and put on robes as they wait for their clothes to dry. As they wait, Andy asks why Haley was taking a bath at the house anyway. She replies that she wanted some time to herself since she lives in her parents' basement, broke up with Dylan, and ate too much at Thanksgiving. Andy seems visibly interested in the fact that she and Dylan broke up. Haley tells him they broke up after running into Andy and Beth at that movie; she just thought they seemed so good together that she wanted that. Andy assures her that he and Beth are not perfect and that things come up when planning a wedding like how Beth doesn't want him to have a bachelor party. Haley says he should live it up and Andy agrees saying he should have one crazy adventure before getting married. When Andy sits down on the couch beside Haley, he accidentally sits on the remote that turns on different sexy features of the house, like starting a fire for them, turning on some music and mood lighting, folding the couch back into a bed, and opening a wine cabinet. As Andy and Haley lie facing each other on the couch-bed, they start to lean in for a kiss, but they are interrupted by Mitch and Cam arriving at the house. Andy and Haley hide in the laundry room before they are seen. After everyone leaves, Andy and Haley reappear from their hiding place, now dressed in their clothes instead of the robes. Andy tells Haley he feels bad because he felt like something could have happened between them if everyone hadn't showed up. Haley blames their almost moment on the house and Andy willingly agrees with her. Andy also tells her that he got his one last crazy adventure before getting married. She says she's glad and it was fun before saying bye to him. Andy lets out a long breath he had been holding as Haley exits the house. Haley then immediately rushes back into the house and leaps into Andy's arms to give him a passionate kiss that he enthusiastically reciprocates.
Clean Out Your Junk Drawer
Haley tells Alex that she had sex with Andy when they were alone at the sexy house Phil was trying to sell for his client. She texts Andy to meet up so they can talk. When they meet up in Haley's car so they can talk, Andy says he feels really guilty about what happened. Haley says she is trying to be a better person and, ironically, he is one of the reasons why, but a better person does not hook-up with an engaged person. She says it is not goodbye forever because he works for half her family, but, when they run into each other from now on, they'll keep their clothes on. Andy agrees and tells her, "You know if things were different" and trails off, to which she responds sadly, "I know." When Alex calls Haley later to see if she ended things with Andy, Haley lies and says she did. She is really taking the phone call while in bed with Andy after having just had sex with him again. They both appear to be feeling guilty for what they just did and Andy quickly lays face-down a picture of Beth on his bedside table.
Gloria invites Andy to celebrate Christmas with the family at a rented cabin because Beth has to work. Nobody knows that Haley and Andy are secretly having sex. After Phil confuses Andy and Haley staring into each others' eyes as a staring contest, Phil gives Andy an old gold blazer that used to be his as a present for passing his real estate license test that Haley helped him cram for. When things start to heat up between Haley and Andy a second time, Phil interrupts them again to help Andy get some firewood. Later, Andy finds the key to the secret room and Haley says she'll meet him there in two minutes. Lily hears noises coming from the locked room and when she realizes it's not Luke and Manny, she screams. This alerts everyone to come and help her. Phil pushes open the door to the room as Haley and Andy are putting their pants back on. After the children are told to go outside and play where snow would be, Claire asks Haley and Andy how long this has been going on and if this is the first time. Haley lies and says yes, but Andy says no and confesses that they have been having "improper relations". Gloria appears with a surprise for Andy; Beth is here. Claire pushes Haley back into the secret room and Phil says he wants to talk with Andy. Phil tells Andy if this is a fling, it's over, but if this is something real, then it is time for him to step up and be a man and talk to Beth. Before Andy is able to break things off with Beth, Beth tells him that she has been cheating on him for a few months now with two other guys. They then break up and Beth leaves the cabin. Haley is upset because Andy seems hurt that Beth cheated on him. Gloria tells him to stop moping and be grateful that Haley likes him because she is a stone-cold 10 and he's a Utah 7. As the "snow" falls outside the window and Gloria proclaims it to be the perfect Christmas, Andy puts his arm around Haley's shoulder and she strokes his hand as they smile softly at each other.
Haley tries to greet Andy with a hug, but Andy just gives her a pat on the arm. Haley is confused with Andy's behavior towards her since they started out so hot and heavy. She guesses that Andy is probably feeling neglected so he's acting cold since she has been so busy the last couple weeks. In reality, Andy is trying to slow things down with Haley so they don't burn out. He wants to get to know her more emotionally. Haley tries seducing Andy in Joe's room with wine, but Andy suggests he make them some tea to help them open up emotionally. Haley is confused why Andy is rejecting her because she claims everybody wants her. Then she spots Beth's Coast Guard uniform in Joe's closet and jumps to the conclusion that Andy is still in love with his ex. (Andy really has Beth's uniform out because he's sending Beth back her things and had the uniform pressed because he loves his country.) Haley runs down the stairs and throws Beth's uniform at Andy who is carrying two cups of hot tea. He puts the cups down and chases a hysterical Haley outside into the storm. Haley asks him if he is still in love with Beth because he won't kiss her or touch her anymore. Andy says, "There is no Beth; there's only you." He then tells Haley why he's been acting the way he has, that he wants to slow things down a bit in order to catch up emotionally to where they are physically so they don't burn out. Haley argues that they are not going to burn out because she liked him way before they ever hooked up. Andy tells her he wants their relationship to be as good as their affair. He points out that they haven't even gone on a romantic first date. He just wants to wait for the perfect moment so they can start their relationship right. He wants it to be something special and magical, like in the movies. Haley replies, "What do you want me to do? Chase you through an airport? I think we got it." With that, Haley makes Andy aware that they are currently experiencing one of those magical cinema moments right now out in the rain. They laugh at this realization as they lean in to share a romantic kiss out in the storm.
Andy and Haley are having dinner at Elwood Grill. Andy decides to order the chilidog because his deceased father had bought him one at his first baseball game. Haley says that’s weirdly sweet and comments that it’s cute that Andy’s hair never moves, like a LEGO. They’re then interrupted by a guy named Tom who recognizes Haley from when she danced on top of his van at Coachella. Haley introduces Andy as her boyfriend to Tom and, after Tom leaves, she apologizes to Andy. Andy tells Haley that he knows she’s a little wilder than him, but that’s one of the reasons he fell for her; it’s exciting. Andy suggests that they forget about dinner and a movie, and instead do what Wild Haley would do. Haley says they can start at this western place where she knows the bartender and, if Andy hangs back, she can get them free drinks all night. In Haley’s interview, she says she wants to give up her partying ways, but if that’s something Andy liked about her, then she doesn’t want to disappoint him. In his interview, Andy admits he’s not usually so quick with party talk and he always had this fear that Haley would think he couldn’t keep up with her; he wants to just survive the night and not barf on his dad’s old church shirt. At Slim’s bar, Andy and Haley do alcoholic shots with a couple named Clint and Bianca. Haley asks Andy if he drank his shot when it was still on fire. Andy replies that it’s an old habit; it’s how he used to eat his marshmallows. Clint says he’ll give Haley 20 bucks if she’ll make out with Bianca. Haley does it, but says she didn’t enjoy it because Bianca is a smoker and has wandering hands; it’s all a part of the Wild Haley experience. Haley, Clint, and Bianca cheer Andy on as he rides a mechanical bull, which he falls off of after 12 seconds. When Haley, Clint, and Bianca rush to Andy, Andy lies and says it was so fun and that’s why he was screaming. Clint and Bianca excitedly ask if Andy and Haley want to go to Vegas with them, despite the late night hour. Andy lies and says he loves that idea and Haley, who wants to please Andy, agrees that it’s a great idea and that she was scared that they were done. Unbeknownst to Haley, Andy is in pain from the mechanical bull ride. The next time we see Haley and Andy they are in Vegas playing Roulette. Andy pretends that he loves gambling; he says it’s the best: “You hand your hard-earned money to strangers and pray it comes back.” Andy says to Haley that he knows he had a lot to drink, but that’s not Bianca anymore with Clint; he doesn’t want to believe Clint sold her. When Clint asks them if they want to get really crazy, Haley blurts out frightened, “People know where I am!” Clint goes all-in on one number. Andy guesses that’s no scarier than when that glow-stick broke in his mouth so Andy goes all-in too. Haley tells Andy that’s a month’s rent. Andy is surprised that the black chips are not $1 chips and tries to take them back, but the croupier won’t let him. Haley starts to freak out and asks Andy why he’s doing this. Andy is surprised she’s asking because he thought she loves Wild Andy. Haley says, “No, no! I love normal Andy. Tomato-soup-and-grilled-cheese Andy. Still-in-bed-by-11:00 Andy. Uses-the-word-tummy Andy.” Andy tells her that he’s been doing this whole thing because he was afraid she’d get bored and dump him if he couldn’t keep up. Haley replies that she knows he can’t keep up, but that she’d rather slow down. She says, “I like the me I am when I’m with you.” Andy replies that he wishes she would have told him that about a minute ago. He says the stress of the gambling is murder on his tummy. By the time the sun has come up the next morning, Andy and Haley are back at Elwood Grill having breakfast. Andy assures the waitress that they got this and then asks Haley if she’s got a nickel or a dime. Haley says she doesn’t. Andy then pulls out a big wad of $100 dollar bills from his pocket and apologizes to the waitress as he hands her one because she’s going to have to make change. Andy and Haley giggle over their newfound riches before they’re interrupted by a text message from Haley’s parents saying they’re heading to Paris.
Andy wants Phil’s advice about whether or not he should take a job in Utah that his cousin Evan, a real estate developer, is offering him after the VP is leaving to start his own company. Before Phil can give Andy his advice, they’re interrupted by Alex and later Luke. Andy comments on Luke’s good mood saying that there’s only one reason a teenage boy is ever like that and that’s because The Harlem Globetrotters must be in town. Later that afternoon, Andy and Haley are waiting for the valet to drive Andy’s car back to them. Andy thinks the valet probably slid the seat back because of his “weirdly short arms.” When his car arrives, Andy gets a phone call from his cousin Evan about his earlier job offer. Haley uses the money from Andy’s wallet to pay for the valet and then waits in the car. Andy tells Evan he still doesn’t want the job. Due to a technical difficulty, Haley overhears the rest of Andy’s phone call while she’s waiting in the car. Evan can’t believe that Andy is turning down his dream job, an actual career back home, because of a girl. Evan then says, “This Haley must be something special.” Haley seems stunned about what she just overheard. The cell connection is lost so the call is dropped. When Andy joins Haley in the car, he exclaims, “I knew it!” because his seat has been slid back by the valet. A couple hours later, Andy comes over to Haley’s house because she said she wanted to talk. He came over right away due to how paranoid he says he can be. Haley suggests they talk in her room, but before they’re able to leave the kitchen, Phil stops Andy to give him the advice Andy wanted earlier. Phil tells Andy to take his dream career in Utah because if their bond is as strong as they think it is, then they will find their way back to each other. Haley, who had been listening, tells Andy, “What he said.” Andy’s face falls at Haley’s words. Later that day, Andy and Haley are at the airport so Andy can make his flight to Utah. As they approach the security line, Haley tells Andy that he can come back to visit and she’ll go to Utah to visit him. Andy agrees that this is "not goodbye-goodbye.” Haley says they’ll leave the drama to a couple they see across the room who are currently saying an emotional goodbye. In mocking tones, they joke about what the other couple is saying to each other. Andy says, “I don’t regret a single minute I’ve spent with you.” Haley says, “I think you’re the first man I ever loved.” As they speak those words, they both realize they mean what they are saying, so when they speak again their tones are much more sincere and genuine. Andy says, “Not a single minute” and Haley says, “You really are the first.” They share a goodbye kiss before Andy walks towards the security line. Andy turns around to see Haley walking away in the other direction. When he turns back around to face the security line, Haley turns around to see Andy walking away. Both are visibly saddened by this farewell.
Rainer is a weatherman that first meets Haley in "Weathering Heights" when Phil is preparing to appear on TV. He asks Haley out on a date after Phil suggests he hires Haley as a makeup artist and Rainer misunderstands him as Phil inviting him to ask Haley out. Despite their age difference Rainer and Haley have surprisingly much in common, including caring a lot about their appearance, even having a box of hair products shipped to the location of their vacation in Mexico.
Rainer proposes to Haley while they are in a restaurant for Rainer's 45th birthday. She enthusiastically accepts but after Rainer realizes that he was wrong about the weather forecast that night both of them start spiraling and end up breaking off their short engagement.
Arvin is a professor at Caltech who meets Haley when she sneaks into Alex's class to get her to read over her writing sample before she goes to an interview at Nerp. Arvin later finds them in the school yard and tells Haley that the two of them will get married one day, that he doesn't understand it but he just knows because all the probability scenes he's been running in his head end up with the two of them marrying.
| Haley [after breaking up with Dylan]: I miss him. |
Phil: Yeah. He was your first real boyfriend.
Haley: I keep expecting him to show up. He used to come by at night and I'd sneak out to see him.
Phil: Yeah, I know.
Haley: You knew?
Phil: His car's thirty years old and doesn't have a muffler. And he honked.
— From "Mother Tucker"
| Dylan: [about his shoes] I think I left them at your uncle's house. |
Haley: Oh, my God! This is a disaster!
Dylan: Maybe they'll think it's theirs.
Haley: They're gay, they know what shoes they own!
— From "Boys' Night"
| Alex: Last week she wore my sweatshirt. |
Haley: I was doing it a favor. It was the first time the top half got any exercise.
— From "Two Monkeys and a Panda"
— From "See You Next Fall"
— From "See You Next Fall"
— From "See You Next Fall"
| Phil: [seeing Haley and Alex scrubbing the kitchen] Whoa. What's all this? |
Haley: Mom heard us say we were bored.
Alex: She heard us from outside!
Haley: She has super-good hearing, like a seeing eye dog. They have overdeveloped hearing to make up for the fact... wait, the dogs aren't blind. Wait, are they? No, that wouldn't make sense.
Alex: [to Phil] You're right. If I wait long enough, she can get there by herself.
Phil: [his cell phone rings] Quick, girls. Famous Danny from "Moonstruck". Aiello?
Mitchell [on the phone to Phil]: Hey, Phil, I'm glad I caught ya.
Phil: What's up?
Mitchell: Uh, it's about Steven and Stefan. They want to see that house on Briar again.
Phil: Really? I showed it to them five times. Last time we were there, I think they got mail.
Mitchell: Yeah, well, that's why I'm calling. They hate upsetting people. Unless, of course, it's me. Then they don't mind waking me up at 7 a.m., asking me to call you.
Phil: It's no problem. I'm just hanging around. Kind of bored, really.
[Haley and Alex gasp]
[Phil gasps as he realizes what he just said].
— From "Aunt Mommy"
| Haley: Mom, don't do it! She'll be in the same class as I am! Why are you even taking second year Math? |
Alex: You're a senior. Why are you still in second year Math?
Haley: Not still, again.
— From "Phil on Wire"
|Everything I touch turns to detention.|
— From "Phil on Wire"
| Luke: Dad is getting an assectomy. I hear things. |
Haley: You're getting your tonsils out?
Alex: Oh, my God! This family needs a dumbassectomy.
— From "Snip"
|[to Alex] Are you going Goth? You can't go Goth. You still have a stuffed panda.|
— From "Snip"
| Alex: Don't throw this in my face someday, but sometimes you can be really smart. Like smart smart. |
Haley: Oh, my God. Thanks. And by the way, I'm totally throwing that in your face someday. Are you kidding?
— From "My Hero"
| Haley: His name is Zack, and he went to college at a place called Mit. |
Haley: I know how to spell it.
— From "Flip Flop"
| Haley: You know what? I'd rather wait for someone who would walk through a blizzard for me and only honks to support the troops. |
Scott: I don't understand you.
Haley: Neither do I!
— From "Other People's Children"
|Haley to Andy: Sometimes the hardest part is just figuring out what you want.|
— From "The Wedding (Part 2)"
|This crazy bitch just messed with the wrong crazy bitch.|
— From "Fight or Flight"
|Haley to Andy: If I'm your elephant, you have a shot. That's what I'm trying to say dummy.|
— From "Closet? You'll Love It!"
— From "American Skyper"
| Andy: Maybe we should wait for the perfect moment so we can start our relationship right. Something special and magical, like in the movies. |
Haley: What do you want me to do? Chase you through an airport? I think we got it.
— From "The Storm"
|Haley to Andy: I like the me I am when I'm with you.|
— From "Express Yourself"
| Andy: I don’t regret a single minute I’ve spent with you. |
Haley: I think you’re the first man I ever loved.
Andy: Not a single minute.
Haley: You really are the first.
— From "Double Click"
| Haley: Hey, there's that guy's jet ski! |
Luke: That girl's jet ski.
Haley: Whatver it was, it was into me, and I'm kissing it.
— From "Lake Life"
- Haley is allergic to lactose, like her uncle Mitchell ("Treehouse").
- In Season 7, Sarah Hyland who portrays Haley gets a haircut. In a flashback scene in "Summer Lovin" she wears extensions to play Haley. She takes them out later after Haley gets a haircut.
- Haley tells Andy he is the first man she ever loved ("Double Click").
- It has been suggested throughout the series that Haley has an eating disorder. It was first mentioned in "Truth Be Told" when Alex says "Don't you have an eating disorder to attend to?", in "New Year’s Eve" when Haley says to Alex "My whole life is a Hunger Game. Why do you think I'm so mean to you all the time?" and in "Spread Your Wings" when Luke says that Haley's duck was just playing with the food and "pretending to eat". It can be presumed that Haley has Anorexia but not Bulimia since in "The Cold", after being sick and "throwing up for three days straight" Haley states that she "doesn't know how models do it" – implying that she's not used to constant throwing up.
- Haley is likely bisexual. In "All Things Being Equal", Haley flirts with the homeless repairwoman & car thief Joan. Later, in "Lake Life", when Haley and Luke cannot decide on the gender of a stranger and which one of them the stranger was flirting with, Haley proclaims "whatever it was, it was into me, and I'm kissing it." This theory has been supported by Haley's actress Sarah Hyland in a 2017 Tweet, but never explicitly stated on the show.
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|Modern Family characters|