|Total Episode Count||99|
|Written By||Bill Wrubel|
|Directed By||Jeffrey Walker|
|Air Date||October 2, 2013|
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Phil seems to have found his wheelhouse in real estate: recently divorced women. But it's taking up a lot of his time. Meanwhile, Luke invites his buddies over for a high-stakes poker game in the basement; Gloria thinks Joe might be cursed; and Cam holds an elaborate pet funeral for Larry's (their cat) made-up wife, all for Lily's sake.
Phil seems to have found his niche in the real estate market: divorced women. He's been charming them into closing those mortgages. Unfortunately, Claire needs him to handle more family-oriented items while she goes into the office and works on the monthly reports. Better than Cameron and Mitchell, who have to figure out how to tell Lily their cat died. Worst case scenario, they could blame it on Joe, who got kicked out of Gymboree for being too aggressive with the other kids. Jay thinks kids should just be kids, but Gloria thinks her family is cursed. (JAY: Are you aware a remarkable number of your stories end with a family member being carried off by a giant bird? I'm just saying, by the third time, we might think about moving the party inside.) Jay gets nowhere with the Gymboree manager, probably because he's yelling, at least according to Manny, as they go to see The Sound of Music at the movie theatre, instead of Jay's suggestion of Death Wish. The kid who bumped into Jay without apologizing really set him off (in fairness, a kid acting like a total douchebag would set me off, too). Manny thinks Jay's too loud and angry, but Jay says you can't keep that down or it will eat you up inside. Manny doesn't believe him...until a kid talks on his cell phone during the movie and mocks Mary Poppins. Now Manny is starting to see Jay's side a bit. At least enough to get kicked out of the movie for smashing the jerk's cell phone. But on the good side, both of them really enjoyed Death Wish. Although Gloria thinks the priest she brought in to drive out the evil in her family might have to stay around a bit longer.
You can guess how many of Claire's tasks he got done, given she tripped over the branches in the front yard and took a rake to the face, found nothing in the refrigerator, while Alex dealt with one of Luke's friends kissing her and Haley trying to get in on their poker game. Claire thinks Phil is taking too much time with these divorced, lonely women. (PHIL: Yes, I deal with a lot of lonely women. But there's only one I'm married to.) Claire thinks he won't be able to juggle them. And when several of them Phil cancelled their appointments on them to be with the others, they're ready to kick him to the curb. Fortunately, Claire was at the grocery store when it happened (thinking Phil finally got around to do the groceries...except for one of the divorced women) and talked Phil up as a great realtor and a far nicer person than the "jerk" husband she was married to.
Meanwhile, Cameron, who has taken charge of the wedding much to Mitchell's relief, has to explain to Lily what happened to Larry, their cat. Lily thinks he died, but Cam tries to tell her Larry got married to another cat and won't be coming back because married cats never visit their former homes. This is, of course, right when Larry decides to show up, so Cameron now has to tell Lily that Larry's new wife died. He would have told Lily they got divorced, but Lily was already freaking out Cam and Mitchell might get divorced someday. Cameron then has to plan an entire funeral and bury the imaginary wife of Larry in the backyard. Fortunately, there were plenty of guests (both human and animal) on hand to pay their respects. Cameron was even able to get a church choir and a bagpiper there. All he needed to do was to get Dylan (yes, Haley's ex) to dig a hole in the backyard. (Dylan was relieved he was only burying a cat.) Sounds simple enough...until Dylan hit a pipe and soaked the entire backyard. Now all of the guests and their animals were in the house and it was a zoo. Literally. Cameron was completely freaked out and really needed Mitchell there. Thankfully, Mitchell learned he can't just let others do the work. He thought letting Cameron do everything ("I think big, then I whittle down.) would work. But his OCD in cleaning his office...even getting trapped inside the air conditioning vents when trying to dust them...he decides he needs some say in their wedding planning, which Cameron was delighted to give him.
As for poor Alex, she helped Luke and Haley get all of their money (and Haley's computer) back when they lost them in the poker game. And lost it again when she got too greedy. Now Reuben, the kid who kissed her, had a date.
REUBEN: Don't wait up.
ALEX: (leaving with Reuben) Wait up.
(The characters striked out do not appear in this episode)
- Jay Pritchett
- Gloria Pritchett
- Manny Delgado
- Joe Pritchett
- Claire Dunphy
- Phil Dunphy
- Haley Dunphy
- Alex Dunphy
- Luke Dunphy
- Mitchell Pritchett
- Cameron Tucker
- Lily Tucker-Pritchett
- Reid Ewing as Dylan
- Diane Farr as Diane
- Amy Yasbeck as Lorraine
- Tyler Ritter as Randall
- Efrain Figueroa as Father Marquez
- Spenser McNeil as Reuben
- Michael Chey as Poker Player
- Zayne Emory as Filmgoer
- Austin Michael Coleman as Manny's Schoolmate
- Stacie Greenwell as Ronnie
- John McLean Allan as Angus
- Beckett Konstantine as Lorraine's Son
- Larry is the cat adopted by Mitch and Cam in "Bringing Up Baby".
- Reuben reappears from "Open House of Horrors" and "Fulgencio".
- Death Wish is referenced.
- Manny watches The Sound of Music and says "these are a few of my least favorite things".
- The flower shops are called Floral and Hardy and Florist Gump.
- Jay says that the whole building is made out of Nerf.
- Cam has told Lily bedtime stories about Elizabeth Taylor's eight marriages.
- Haley references the legend of Daedalus and Icarus.
- Phil says he hid the "motherlode" as in the money cheat for sims