After having a doctor's visit but then missing the call with the test results, Phil automatically jumps to conclusions and starts saying his goodbyes. Meanwhile, Javier pops up unannounced again and takes Manny to the horse races for a belated birthday celebration, and a subtle competition ensues when Mitchell brings home an environmental law award and it becomes a game of who has the bigger trophy.
Phil is in for a checkup, forgetting he's not fooling the doctor when he sucks in his gut. The doctor wants to run some tests on a pain Phil had on his underarm. Then it's time to dim the lights and crank up the Norah Jones. In other words, it's drop-your-pants-and-bend-over time.
Meanwhile, Mitchell and Cameron thank Alex for babysitting Lily while they were out accepting Mitchell's award from the California Bar Association for his work in environmental law. They were quite proud of it.
At Jay and Gloria's, Jay has trouble with the mouse on his computer, which scared Gloria, since she had a dream about a black mouse, which in her country meant something bad was going to happen. No, it wasn't Manny dressed like he just saw Matt Damon in The Legend of Bagger Vance. Javier, Manny's father, came to visit. Javier wanted to take Manny to the racetrack for the birthday he missed, and Gloria insisted Jay go with. Jay, of course, wanting to play golf.
As Cam added his trophy for winning a bass tournament as a kid in Missouri (North division) to the mantle to go along with Mitch's trophy from the Bar, Phil tried to find some of the razor blades he had from winning a lifetime supply of them when he was on a game show. While Phil was looking for his razor blades...of which Claire couldn't care, as he got a fifteen-year supply of free shaving...his doctor wanted him to call back. Naturally, Phil can't reach him and begins to panic. Claire assures him he's fine.
At the track, Manny wants to bet on a horse called Miranda's Miracle, since there is a girl named Miranda at his school and it would be a miracle if she liked him. Javier thinks the horse, My Hometown, will win, regardless of what the racing form says because he looked into the horse's eyes and was told he would win. Manny is convinced and puts his $2 on My Hometown.
Meanwhile, Cam's trophy seems to have grown taller than Mitch's, and Mitch calls him out on it. Cam fired back by saying he kept all of his trophies in the garage out of respect for Mitchell, who was award less up until this point. And the one-upsmanship is underway. Alex comes over to retrieve her mobile phone and agrees with Mitchell, as Claire one time took a couple of participation ribbons Haley and Luke won and put them next to her big plaque.
MITCHELL: I was so glad I talked to Alex because she agreed with every single thing I was feeling, which made me realize that I...was acting like a 14-year-old girl.
Gloria heads over to the Dunphys to teach Haley Spanish under protest. (HALEY: I live in California. I'm never going to use it.) It would be easier for her to study without Phil sitting there like he's dying because he thinks he is. And the hug was really creepy. Although Luke's day with their 85-year-old neighbor, Walt, was almost as scary, given they were playing video games and Walt went off on Luke for not having his back.
LUKE: I'm sorry. I can't concentrate when my dad is staring at me.
PHIL: (wistful) I love you so much.
WALT: I hope he's talking to you.
When Phil started getting philosophical with Walt, Claire decided it was intervention time.
At the track, Manny and Javier were cleaning up and Jay hadn't won a thing. Tired of Javier's constant line of BS he was spewing, Jay decided to throw $300 on a horse picked to be the favorite. And he won...until the horse was disqualified for interference. But Jay could take comfort: Manny gave him a couple of dollars for gas. Javier sends Manny off for a moment and Jay apologizes for going off on him. In truth, Jay sees Javier twice a year, and he knows that he isn't Manny's actual father. But he hates when Javier shows up because it reminds him of that unpleasant fact.
Mitchell felt so bad about what he did, he decided to get Cam's box of trophies out of the garage and put them up on the mantle. But of course, that mouse Gloria feared earlier chose to make its appearance right then and there, and now Cam had twice as many trophies as he did before.
Everybody went over to Phil and Claire's because Gloria saw that black mouse and thought Phil was in trouble. Now everybody, including Javier, were paying their respects. (Which, in Javier's world, means hitting on Claire.) Claire repeated to everybody that Phil's doctor called this morning and they simply missed it. Only Jay is not legitimately concerned, as doctors never call on a Saturday with good news. Except Dr. Sendroff was only calling about a real estate deal; there was nothing wrong with Phil. Now if only Mitchell could get Cameron to stop staring at Javier. (and to stop himself...)
(The characters striked out do not appear in this episode)
- Jay Pritchett
- Gloria Pritchett
- Manny Delgado
- Joe Pritchett
- Claire Dunphy
- Phil Dunphy
- Haley Dunphy
- Alex Dunphy
- Luke Dunphy
- Mitchell Pritchett
- Cameron Tucker
- Lily Tucker-Pritchett
- Benjamin Bratt as Javier Delgado
- Philip Baker Hall as Walt Kleezak
- Don Lake as Dr. Sendroff
- Steve Tom as Chip
- Gloria reveals that one time when Manny was six, Javier took him to the Petting Zoo, which Gloria later found out that that was the name of a stripper club, a place completely age-inappropriate for six year-olds.
- First time Javier is seen at the Dunphy house.
- Cam has a crush on Javier.
- Gloria said she would not let Manny take off with Javier by himself since he took Manny to a stripper club when he was six, but in "Caught in the Act", they were alone together for the weekend and in Javier's future appearances, they appear to have gone out alone together. It is possible, though, that either Gloria eventually learned to trust him again or Manny calmed her down by forwarding evidence of where he was every so often to her.