|Total Episode Count||14|
|Written By||Bill Wrubel|
|Directed By||Jason Winer|
|Air Date||February 3, 2010|
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"My Funky Valentine"
Claire feels like a loser when she catches up with an old friend from work. Jay and Cameron have an unpleasant "encounter" in a locker room. Mitchell tries to give legal advice to Gloria after she has a wreck.
It is a very busy morning for everybody. Haley broke up with Dylan because she prefers someone who does not bang their head on the garage door every time they ride their bike out. Claire is meeting up with an old workmate. Gloria has to get legal advice from Mitchell from a fender-bender she had, and Jay has finally caved in and agreed to play racquetball with Cameron. Granted, Jay is not thrilled about the prospect because the locker room atmosphere is one of the things he goes to a gym for.
Well, clearly a lot more showed than either of them wanted. As both took off their street clothes, following a slightly uncomfortable discussion about the fact that Jay wears boxers and Cam always thought he was a tighty-whitey guy, they accidentally bump their glutei maximi. Of course, Jay is freaking out too much and Cameron isn't freaking out enough.
CAMERON: Oh, come on. All the time you've spent in the locker room, this can't be your first moon landing.
JAY: There's actually a name for it?!
After discovering his bus stop billboard had a mustache drawn on him, Phil decides he's going to try and rock the Tom Selleck look. He puts on a mustache from an old costume.
PHIL: Do people want their real estate advice from someone who leads or someone who follows? I'm betting' these babies are coming back in a big way. Buy low, sell high. People are going to look at this and say, "That guy's high."
Claire meets with her ex-coworker, Valerie. Claire had decided that she wanted to be a stay-at-home mom and she felt a bit smug that Valerie seemed to be jealous. It turns out that Valerie was now an executive at Claire's old company, and Claire probably could have had that job if she stayed around. And then Valerie was given another promotion in Paris. Claire had it wrong: Valerie wasn't jealous of her, Valerie pitied her. Now Claire wants to bring her back to her house to show everything that she missed: the kids, the house, having only one lover instead of four...
Mitchell and Gloria talk about her accident. She claims a guy cut her off, but Manny, the only other witness, secretly tells Mitchell that Gloria was at fault. She was going 100 mph and she can't take criticism of her driving. As it happens, Jay, who claims he lost to Cameron because he was distracted by the "moon landing", also didn't have the guts to tell Gloria she can't drive, so he dumped it on Mitchell. Naturally, Manny suddenly pleads the 5th in front of his mother, and Gloria reads Mitchell the riot act.
Claire brings Valerie to meet the family, but perhaps the timing was a bit off. Haley was throwing Dylan's stuff out the window, Luke was trying to understand the appeal of Jägermeister, and Alex was trying to kill a rat. And that's before Phil got stuck in the port-a-pottie outside with the water turned off in the house. The good news is, Valerie finds the rat, which isn't nearly as gross as Haley and Dylan making up (and making out). Claire freaks out at them and leaves, but later, she feels bad and all she wants is to be at home with her family and when she returns home everyone is happy again. She appreciates that they let her slide on yelling at them when she was trying to impress Valerie.
Jay decides to have a return match to prove he can beat Cameron in racquetball. He is successful and is so proud of himself that he decides he can handle the "moon landing," and even the "splashdown," which is a moon landing right out of the shower. Now if only Cameron was there when he demonstrated that and not the large bald man that was.
Gloria finally apologizes to Mitchell and admits she may not be the best driver, if crashing into the wall of the restaurant is any indication.
(The characters striked out do not appear in this episode)
- Jay Pritchett
- Gloria Pritchett
- Manny Delgado
- Joe Pritchett
- Claire Dunphy
- Phil Dunphy
- Haley Dunphy
- Alex Dunphy
- Luke Dunphy
- Mitchell Pritchett
- Cameron Tucker
- Lily Tucker-Pritchett
- Reid Ewing as Dylan
- Minnie Driver as Valerie
- Brian Oerly as Gym Member
- Blake Gibbons as Construction Worker
- Andrew Harlander as Creepy Diner
- Dylan tries to win Haley back by standing outside her window playing on his iPod the song "In the Moonlight" from "The Incident".
- The episode was originally scheduled to premiere on ABC on January 27, 2010, but it was preempted by the State of the Union address and pushed back a week to February 3, 2010.
- In the original version, Claire shows Valerie her children from a photograph, while in the Greek version, Faye shows Vasia her children from a picture on her phone.
- Takis comes over to Faye's house while having run away from Labros and introduces himself to Faye's friend, Vasia (Valerie).
- While the rat Alex chases in the original version is visible, the one Alexandra chases in the Greek version is invisible and nowhere to be seen, making it look like she's whacking the broomstick for no apparent reason.
- There is another moment added: When Vasia tries to leave and Faye blocks the doorway, Labros suddenly emerges from behind Faye, knocking her out of the way and says 'Hello' to Vasia before turning to Takis and saying "Well! You're here?", being mad at him for ditching him.
- In the original version, after the disastrous meeting, Claire freaks out at her family and scolds each of them when she was trying to make a good impression and says these to her children:
- Luke: Just sitting around in your underwear...
- Alex: ...And chasing rats...
- Haley: ...and-and fornicating in the stairwell.
In the Greek version, this is kind of different and extended; Faye speaks also to her father and husband and not just her children and asks them what does she find when she brings home someone she wants to impress, then tells them what she finds:
- Takis: A father with trunks...
- Panos: ...My minor son in his underwear and drenched into alcohol...
- Alexandra: ...My one daughter chasing rats...
- Danai: My other daughter 'taking her eyes out in front of people' (Greek expression meaning 'Doing something stupid')...
- Philippos: ...And my husband-And my husband closed up in a toilet with a fake moustache.
- In the original version, Phil pulls off the moustache quickly, then one brief pause and then he bends down saying "Ow!", causing him pain. But in the Greek version, Philippos pulls the moustache off slowly and there is no pain. After he pulls it off, Takis sees him and says to him "Ah. That was you?" and then says to Panos "Your father.".
- In the original version, Luke feels scared what may happen with his parents. In the Greek version, Alexandra worries and asks her father if he and Faye will get divorced, to which Philippos replies that it's nonsense and Panos then says that he wouldn't mind if his parents got divorced, because then he and Philippos would be able to do things that Faye disallows them to do, causing Alexandra to hit him behind his head.
- In the original version, Claire is eating a burger at a restaurant, while in the Greek version, Faye is eating a burger on a park bench and she is then seen leaving it to go back to home to her family, when right there, her anger was gone and she wanted to be with her family, like Claire in the original version.
- In the original version, when Dylan is playing his song outside the Dunphy house, Phil comes out in a dressing gown and picks up a newspaper, then walks back into the house after he and Dylan have a little talk. In the Greek version, when Philippos goes out and finds Petros playing the song from his phone, he (Philippos) is seen fully dressed, carrying a bag and wearing sunglasses, indicating he is going off to work.
- Claire calls Phil Mario while he's wearing the mustache.
- Dylan tries to win Haley back by standing outside her window playing music on his iPod. When Phil comments "Oh, I get it, Say Anything!" however, Dylan doesn't get the reference, and instead just says anything.
- Luke and Phil have an argument about Rick Astley's song "Never Gonna Give You Up".
- Faye called Philippos Super Mario rather than just Mario.