Phil is all in on project hatch-the-duck-eggs, even building a whole habitat for them — no one else is as enthused about this project and Lily is the only one suckered into helping him. Claire, meanwhile, is nervous about pitching her new closet ideas to Jay and his creative team, and for good reason it seems. And, Gloria and Manny help each other out with their respective “crushes,” while Cameron develops an unhealthy attachment to the frat guys renting their upstairs unit.
We are in the Dunphy household, Phil, Claire, Haley and Luke, Phil is waiting for his eggs to hatch, whilst the others tell him they don't think it's going to happen, Claire tells him that he found the eggs weeks ago (in "The Day Alex Left for College") and they still haven't hatched, she tells him that he should prepare himself for the possibility that they could be- and this is where she tries to make him say it as she doesn't want to, however Phil fails with this finishing sentence and asks 'alligators?'. Haley is quick to fill in the sentence for him with -'dead', to which Phil asks Luke if he can believe his sister, however Luke says that he can and they might actually be dead. Phil then tells them that 'the only thing that's dead in this kitchen is your childlike sense of wonder'. Dylan comes down with a "morning Dunphys'", he then sees there are still no ducks hatched and says he read a book on them, to which Claire is surprised and Haley comes to Dylans' defense by saying that Dylan does actually read as Claire just sees him as dumb. Dylan recites what the book was about. Haley makes a noise at Dylan and Dylan says the noise means that Haley wants Dylan to fast forward and get on with what he's saying. Phil says he can relate to it because Claire does the same thing to him, Phil says it started when he wanted to invent a new dental floss, Claire then makes the noise to him. Dylan tells the Dunphys' that the book told him that "ducklings imprint on their Mom as soon as they're born, their brains are so small, they just latch on to something and follow it around as a way to find food." we see Dylan demonstrating this around Haley as he says it and Haley then gives him food. Phil tells Dylan that he is building a duck village later and asks if he wants to help, Dylan then says that he thinks that Phil worded the question trickingly, and Haley tells her Dad that Dylan 'would love to but he is still'- and is cut off by a crackling noise, and Phil shouts that he thinks the eggs have hatched but it's really just Claire cracking an egg: "every time I have an egg, really?"
[INTRO THEME SONG]
We are at the Tucker-Pritchett household, with Cam, Mitch and Lily, we see Cameron celebrating a game, Mitchell is the first to be "interviewed" where he says that they've rented their unit upstairs to frat boys from Cam's old college, which seems to bring out Cams' 'bromosexual' side. We then see this as a frat boy calls out to Cam saying "epic throw bro", which Cam responds to with "yeah!" Mitchell tells them that it was a "Cashmere throw, which now has a footprint on it" talking about the fact that someone has messed up there Cashmere rug. A frat guy then shouts they he wants to do beer pong and Cam they says beers are in the fridge and they all chant 'fridge!' multiple times. Mitchell stops Cam from going with them and asks him 'what's going on bro?' to which he says 'sweetie?', and Mitch realises that Cam's "bromosexual" side is now gone. Mitch tells Cam that he sees that Cam has brought around his friends again, Cam then tells Mitch that Jace is cute and they held hands earlier, but they were wrestling and it still counts as holding hands. We see the frat boys come back and Jace bumps chests with Cam as Mitch has to quickly get out of the way; the boys exclaim that they 'found the fridge'. Mitchell mockingly asks how many s's are in Jace as he says he heard 12, Cam then says that he is just trying to make their guests feel comfortable. Lily then walks into the room and asks why Cameron is talking the way the frat boys are talking, to which Mitch replies with the name of the episode: 'she crazy'.
We are now at the Pritchett household, where Gloria is watching TV and Manny walks in sighing 3 times, before Gloria gets frustrated and asks what's wrong and Manny tells her that she can always tell when something's wrong although Manny made it evident something was wrong. Gloria asks what the name of the girl is; knowing that Manny falls in love too hard, Manny tells her that the name is Chelsea, "the prettiest barista who has ever served me a double-shot half-caff caramel macchiato with a dusting of cinnamon" Manny tells Gloria that whenever he tries to talk to her all he can say is 'Mmm', Gloria jokes that he might've used up all his words ordering his coffee. Gloria asks why he is so scared and any woman would be lucky to have him, Manny tries to reply but Gloria stops him when she realises that her favorite TV show is on. Gloria is "interviewed" where she says "Que Linda Mariela Morales" is her favorite actress and she is staying at a hotel under a fake name, she then says that she is going to wait for her at the lobby; she knows she sound like a stalker but it's different, she thinks that when her and Morales meet they are going to be best friends and states that she can already smell her hair. We come back to Manny and Gloria, when the commercials come on Gloria tells her son what to do: "First you're gonna take me to the hotel to meet Mariela. I'm gonna invite her over for dinner tonight. She has a charity event at 5:00, but they're not serving food." Manny then covers his mouth looking away from Gloria as he says 'stalker!' Gloria carries on, "While I'm with Mariela, you're gonna go back to your coffee girl and you're gonna give her the chance to get to know you." Manny tries to asks Gloria "You really think I-" and gets cut off by Gloria saying the commercial is over. We hear Jays' voice saying 'this show, again?' Gloria tells Jay that she doesn't know what it is but she really loves the characters, is then made evident that the reason she seems to love the characters is because they all represent Gloria, Jay and Manny.
We are back with the Dunphys', with Phil carving one of his duck names into a mailbox, Phil asks Claire to read it to see what it says, she reads aloud 'Quack Nicholson', Phil states that if he spent the whole morning making the mailboxes with each ducks name on them he'd feel ridiculous, it's made obvious that what he's doing is ridiculous. Claire opens a cupboard door to find that there's duckseed spilling out of it. Claire exclaims "Phil!, duckseed!" Phil just thinks that she is suggesting a name for one of the ducks. Claire then says "or, I'm sorry?" and Phil says that he'll sweep the duckseed up, Claire tells him to help her clean off the duckseed as she has an important meeting at work, Phil then tells her what the duck food is made of: oats, grub worms, and cricket parts. As Phil helps her he asks if she's nervous about the meeting, Claire tells Phil that she is as it's her first time pitching closet-design ideas to Jay and his 'pretentious' creative team. The doorbell rings and Luke gets it, Phil tells Claire he believes in her and they kiss, we see that Mitchell and Lily have come 'round to Phil and Claire's house. Mitchell greets them with "Hey, nerds!" to which Claire tells Mitchell to ignore the duckseed. Mitchell asks what the project that Phil asked to help him with is, Phil tells Mitchell that he is building a village for his ducks, both Mitchell and Claire both sigh with boredom. Luke comes into the room telling Claire that his driving instructor just cancelled on him. Mitchell then tells Luke that he'll take him so that he doesn't have to help Phil, and Lily says that she'll sit in the back whilst her Dad drives but Mitchell makes Lily help Phil instead as she doesn't know no one wants to. Phil then takes Lily and tells her to meet her cousins; Haley and Alex. Luke thanks Mitchell for offering to drive him, Claire tells Mitchell that Luke has failed his driving test twice, Mitchell then tells Claire he has three options: frat house, duck village, or car crash, and says he's very comfortable with car crash, Lily asks Phil what he's doing with the lights, Phil tells Lily he's trying to give the eggs heat. Mitchell summaries: "Eggs he found a month ago building a whole village for them now" and then sarcastically asks "How's everything at home?"Claire tells him that there has been some debate with the alive-ness of the ducklings but she says that living with Phils' belief and optimism that they're alive rubs off on her. Mitchell turns Claire around to make her see Phil is keeping his eggs warm by sitting on them like a mother duck would sit on the eggs.
We are now with Luke and Mitchell in the car, Mitchell is helping Luke with his driving, whilst Luke is on edge while driving, Luke tells Mitchell to talk about his day to fill the awkward air, Mitchell tells Luke that he almost got his nose broken by a football (Cams' frat buddies), as he has frat guys staying upstairs and it's a little annoying for him, and Cam hangs out with them a lot and Luke asks if he isn't okay with it, to which Mitchell replies with "I don't know, I guess, who cares?" when Mitchell stops talking, Luke looks at the car next to him and tells the car to let him in as Lukes' car and the car next to him are close and Luke wants to go in front of the car, but Mitchell doesn't notice and thinks Luke is telling him to talk on a deeper level with him about Cam, Mitchell then tells Luke that he is a little embarassed by the way Cameron acts when he is with his frat buddies, the car beside then stops and lets Luke in front of them, Luke exclaims "finally!" which Mitch thinks again is towards him to which he says "I know, it feels good to admit it" Luke then stops at for a woman with her buggy and gestures to her saying 'go on' Mitch again ignores this and tells him that what is also irritating is that Cam is so needy with them as Mitch says this he makes his car seat lay back so he can relax as he talks to Luke, we then see Cam knock on the door where his frat buddies are staying and tells them in a serious tone to turn their music down saying he gives them respect and they give him nothing back, however he reveals he is actually joking when they stutter on apologies, when they realise he is actually joking Cam then imitates their reactions to him telling them off. They then tell him he got them good, one frat boy tells Cam he has to do shots with them, and tells Munch to get the Jäger. Jace says that Caminal should join their mission and Cam gets excited when they give him a nickname and want him to join their 'mission'. Munch then presents 'Lord and Lady Jager' which just means the drinks. Cam then smells the drinks and says it doesn't smell the way Jagers are supposed to to which Munch says they were low on beer and he had to mix, and represents the drinks 'Lord and Lady Jaeger-Cuervo-Weiser' they all bring each others egos up after drinking shots of Jager.
We are now with Claire and Jay along with their co-workers at their workplace; Pritchett's: Closets and Blinds, where a co-worker has just finished their presentation, and no other co-worker points out that he is overwhelmed by the reactions from the rest of his co-workers as they don't seem to be so enthusiastic about the idea their fellow co-worker presented. Claire presents her creative idea of 'The Ambassador': After the success of our 'Royal Renaissance' series I thought, 'why not: brushed brass, for the valet rods?' Jay tells Claire it's been done five years ago. Claire then comes up with 'Hide-a-way Hamper' and Jay says, 'it's a terrific idea'; but it's also what Ken Sutton's boss told him when he pitched it in 1992. A co-worker tells Claire that she has to know the history of the business to which she quietly mhm's to Claire realises it's originality they're looking for and presents 'Rustic Revival' and Jay tells her again it's been done, which embarrasses Claire when the co-workers think she has nothing to present that is original.
We are now with Gloria who is looking out her 'idol': Linda Mariela Morales. Manny comes back from trying to talk to his crush Chelsea, Gloria asks how it went and when Manny starts to lie she doesn't see right through it but tells him he's lying and Manny confesses he is. Manny asks how she could tell Gloria tells him that she couldn't and he just confessed it. Manny tells her that he got up to the counter but panicked so he bought two Christmas CD's and a muffin he didn't need and left, Gloria tells him it isn't that hard but Manny insists for him it is as he isn't like her. Gloria sees Linda arrive and walks up to her but the only thing that comes out of her mouth is Lindas' name, an "Hola" accompanied by a Spanish-sounding noise and that's when Gloria realises she does the same thing Manny does, which is probably where he gets it from.
We are back with Cam who is now on the 'mission' at 'Omega Beta'; where a rival frat guy lives, he is dressed like a pizza guy holding 6 large pizzas, he lets Cam in falling for him being a pizza guy as he's never seen him before. Seth, Jace, TJ and Munch arrive, and the guy who let Cam walk in tells them that he is not dumb enough to just let them walk in, as he say this fireworks go off in the house, and Seth, Jace, TJ and Munch sneak in through the house when their rival frat guy leader and the people beside him go and see what it is, Seth, Jace, TJ and Munch come out of the back door, where they meet Cam who is holding a kid with a "Ω" drawn on it in black. Cam runs to the street from someones' back garden tells them: "Go! Go, go! Meet at the rendezvous!".
We are now back with Phil and Lily who are in the Dunphys' backyard, and we see that Phil and Lily have built a village for the ducklings, Phil shows Lily that he has built a Post Office for the ducklings 'bills'. There is a place called 'Duckingham Palace', we see Phils' place of business and a nail salon. Phil then shows Lily a duck call with the duck calling object he has. Lily then asks if there should be an adult present besides Phil and Phil tells Lily that there should only be a kid present which would be Lily in this case, he tells her that she has her whole life to roll her eyes at anything and today isn't about building a duck village it's about building her smile. Phil wants her to smile and tells her not to fight it, which she isn't she's just bored, Phil fakes seeing a smile and says 'there it is!'. Phil and Lily then get into a mess: Phil accidentally knocks the lighthouse down after he's lit it with fire and the fire spreads towards the egg nest and Phil panics, and grabs 2 eggs from the fire and puts them in a bowl and has to put the water out, Lily then points out that one of the eggs slid down the pole that was underneath the bowl and goes running into the road but Phil manages to save the egg after a car comes past it but fortunately not with its wheels; the egg is evidently in the large space between the car wheels. Phil stops panicking as he picks up the egg and says it's good as new to which Lily looks at him like he's crazy. Lily is then "interviewed" in which she says 'she crazy', describing Phil.
We are back with Luke and Mitchell in the car, where Mitchell is still complaining about Cam being the way he is when he is with his frat buddies as we've just seen. Mitchell says that Cam makes him feel like "an outsider in my own home" and "Now that I think about it, ever since we started renting that upstairs apartment-" Mitchell is cut off by Luke asking if they should take a detour, to which Mitch once again thinks is about him talking about Cam and his frat buddies so Mitch says that 'it's relevant' to the story and tells Luke to 'stay with me'. Mitchell then carries on with "It's not just the frat boys, he's this way with all of our guests, Cam doesn't change the sheets as much as he changes his personality" We then see Cam with a slideshow of guests, Cam is with three old ladies, we see him change his personality to the way they would act, and in a southern accent says "All right, ladies. We got some steaming-hot tea, some popping-hot biscuits. Now, let's have a little sizzling-hot gossip." We see Mitchs' reaction: he looks shocked and embarrassed by Cam. We are then with another set of guests: they are watching a movie (a horror movie) and he joins in with them with: "Do not go in there! Don't!- Do not open the- Oh, my god! No! Girl, do not go back in there!" we see Mitchell come into the room, once he realises what's happening: Cam is doing it again and being who the other guests are, he walks right back out of the room. We come back to Luke and Mitch in the car where Mitchell says that he thinks that Cam tries to hard, and Luke asks himself and Cam if the street they are on is a one way street, but of course Mitch assumes Luke's with the conversation and tells Luke that he doesn't know, but he thinks he could be a little more people-friendly, Mitch then says that he just jealous that Cam is more liked by any of their guests. Luke and Mitchell then spot Cam, and Mitchell makes Luke drive slowly so Mitch can talk to Cam. Mitchell then gets out of the car and Luke waits for Mitchell to get back in. Mitch tells Cam he was wrong about earlier and apologises that he thought Cam had a pathological need to be liked but Cam says that he does and Mitchell is first to say "I knew it". Cam tells Mitch that he needs to be liked so much that he stole a kid (baby goat) because of a stupid prank gone wrong and he wanted the frat boys to like him. When the frat boys arrive in their car next to Lukes' car, Cameron returns to his frat boy personality and Mitch calls him out on it and Cam asks what is wrong with him, Cam dismisses his frat personality and tells them that he won't be one of them anymore and they drive off after saying Cam and Mitch suck. Mitch and Cam then get into Lukes' car with the kid.
We are back with Claire and Jay who are with a co-worker; outside a cafe, when their co-worker goes to the toilet, Jay asks Claire what's wrong when he realises that Claire hasn't said a word, Claire tells Jay that he doesn't need her help and she embarrassed herself enough for one day. Jay admits he was too hard on Claire before but he is tired of everyone pitching closet idea. Claire tells Jay that she should have known the closet-pitching business history, Jay reminds Claire that no one nails on their first try and he once pitched a clamshell shoe container with a living hinge; which Claire finds amusing. When their co-worker comes back Jay decides to clean up and leave Claire to talk with the co-worker, when Claire tries to show him her plans for advanced closets, she gives him the wrong ones and birds then decide that they want to ruin Claire's moment by attacking her and the table she is at. Jay comes back in surprise that Claire is being attacked by birds and says "I was gone for 30 seconds!".
We come back to Gloria and Manny, Gloria says that she has never freaked out like that before and states that she's embarrassed, when she asks Manny how bad it was, Manny can only reply with a " I mean.....", Gloria then apologises to Manny for giving him a hard time about not being able to talk to Chelsea, Manny tells her that he actually helped him, seeing Gloria fall apart when meeting Linda; Manny tells Gloria that she is the most confident woman in the world to him, and if someone like his mother can be human then he doesn't have to feel bad about chickening out with girls. Gloria tells Manny that Chelsea is human too and asks Manny why he feels so intimidated by her and tells him to go talk to her although Manny tells Gloria that there's no time and that she gets off at 5:00 on Saturday so that she can pick up her dry cleaning and make 6:00 yoga, which Gloria then says is a stalker thing to know when he doesn't actually know her. Gloria tells Manny to call her, which he does and makes a date with Chelsea. Gloria tells Manny he is confident and says that he gets it all from her, which is dismissed when Gloria turns around to see Linda again but she still can't speak to her and ends up making noises again.
We are back with Phil who is now shopping for Duckling things in a shop with Lily, While Lily is playing with rocks and is actually spelling out the word 'Help' with them, Phil states he feels bad leaving them at home and Lily says that they're probably safer that way, Phil then states that he knows people think he is crazy but it's more fun believing in things people don't. Phil asks Lily if she knows the story of how he found them, when Lily says she doesn't and doesn't want to know, Phil still tells her how: "I found them abandoned in someones' yard the poor things. No mother; No one to take care of them" as Lily can relate to being an orphan she asks where their mother went, which Phil says he doesn't know. Phil then calls Claire to ask her to rotate the eggs 90 degrees, clockwise. Claire says she isn't going to and tells Phil that she has been trying all day to keep up the belief that things are going to work out but they don't. Claire tells Phil that the eggs aren't going to hatch and they are dead. Lily then shouts down the phone "Just turn the eggs, lady!", Claire then says that she is done with birds for the day and after she says this she realises that the ducklings are hatching while she has to stay on the phone and describe what's happening to Phil and Lily, Phil is on the phone while he drives himself and Lily to the house.
We are now with Claire at the Dunphy house and she is still with the ducklings, Phil and Lily join her and Phil asks Lily to take a photograph of Phil and Claire with the ducklings. And as Lily is about to take a photograph of them, Claire states that Lily can't take it yet as one of the ducklings have gone down her shirt and she has to take them out before Lily can take the photograph, once Claire takes the duckling out of her shirt Claire and Phil resume their position and Lily resumes to take the photograph.
We have an ending scene with Phil and Claire, Claire tells Phil she's going to bed, and Phil tells her that if those duck eggs were still viable that they should find out if Claire's got eggs still viable in there (Phil points to her stomach) which Claire declines saying that she is "done with little ones running around the house", when Claire walks away from him the little ducklings decide to follow her to bed, Claire tells them to stay but they carry on. Phil is "interviewed" where he says that the ducks have imprinted on Claire, he sarcastically says that he's not mad but when we come back to the ducklings following Claire he shouts "She said stay!" dismissing his jealousy.
(The characters striked out do not appear in this episode)
- Jay Pritchett
- Gloria Pritchett
- Manny Delgado
- Claire Dunphy
- Phil Dunphy
- Haley Dunphy
- Luke Dunphy
- Mitchell Pritchett
- Cameron Tucker
- Lily Tucker-Pritchett
- Reid Ewing as Dylan Marshall
- Lucila Solá as Mariela Morales
- Joe Mande as Ben
- Kasey Mahaffy as Dom
- Donald Sage Mackay as George Ross
- Phillip Fallon as Munch
- Christian Gehring as Jace
- Kegn Matungulu as TJ
- Damien Diaz as Seth
- Barrett Carnahan as Rival Frat Boy
- Ramon Hilario as Elderly Husband
- Carlos C. Torres as Pepito
- Andre Gordon as Dad
- Ogy Durham as Mom
- John Jackson Jr. as Son
- Gracie Marie Bradley as Daughter
- Nathan Ray Clark as Joshua/Lawyer #1
- Alec Maney Wilson as Dennis/Lawyer #2
- Phil discovered Duck Eggs in "The Day Alex Left for College".
- Continuity Error (During this episode): Manny tells Gloria that he could never talk to Chelsea or ask her out, but later in the episode when Gloria tells Manny to call her he does, meaning that he was somehow able to get her number.
- Alex and Joe are absent.
- Cam steals a kid (in professional terms a baby goat is called a kid)
- Dylan mentions that he read a book that belonged to his nephew, thus indicating that he is not an only child since he also isn't married.
- A Jäger mentioned by a frat boy is a drink that you could have in America at college.
- When Jace, TJ, Seth and Munch meet up with Cam, Cam is holding a kid (baby goat) with a 'Ω' on it.
- Haley and Claire say "bloop-bloop" to fast-forward their men; this is similar to the sound effect used by TiVo.
- One of the ducklings is called "Quack Nicholson", after Jack Nicholson.
- Luke says "I ain't afraid of no goats", which is a "Ghostbusters" reference.