Mitchell and Cameron try to determine Lily's guardian in case something happens to them, Claire is scared that Luke will turn out like Phil, and Haley bonds with Alex after she is forced to take her to cello practice.
Mitchell and Cameron had been dropping by everybody's house to assess their in-laws in their natural environment for a simple reason: to amend their wills so someone would take care of Lily if, God forbid, something happened to them. They were at Jay and Gloria's house. Manny gave a rousing approval to the new French pressed coffee, so much better than drip, and Gloria was gaga over taking care of her granddaughter...although never thrilled being referred to as grandmother. Still, that was better than the trip to Phil and Claire's house, where Haley hoped the house would burn down, Phil almost made it do that with a burning pan, Alex was locked in the garage and still forgot the rat traps she was supposed to get, and Luke wanted to demonstrate his juggling prowess...with knives.
While Jay got Manny organized for a trip the sporting good store for a weekend outing and Cam wanted to buy some snowshoes for his blizzard-bound mother in Missouri (they lost two cows, and she'd send the pictures), Mitchell asked Gloria to look after Lily because they were thinking of having her look after Lily on the remote (I'M SO HAPPY)...very remote (WE'LL HAVE FUN!!)...possibility of something happening to them.
GLORIA: Oh, I know. Nothing it going to happen to you. (To Lily) But if it did, we'd be so happy!!!
Phil wants to take Luke to his workplace, but Claire is taking Luke to see a child psychologist without Phil's knowledge. Luke's grades weren't improving, and she wanted to make sure Luke was still a normal kid. And shaking his head while the paint mixing machine at the hardware store ran wasn't exactly helping his cause. Phil wants to meet up for lunch, but Claire keeps making excuses, even making Haley's friends take Alex to her cello lesson. She gets to the psychologist's office...and Phil beat her to it.
Mitchell talks to Cam about having Jay and Gloria be Lily's guardians. Anyway, Cam isn't sure about Jay raising a kid, especially since Jay makes Manny climb the rock wall at the store to give him some confidence about going on his camping trip.
Cam intervenes on Manny's behalf regarding the rock climbing wall and tells Jay to stop bullying Manny. Cameron demonstrates how to talk to Manny and build his confidence by climbing the rock wall himself. And that probably wasn't the time for Mitch to tell his dad he wanted him to be Lily's guardian, as Jay was spotting Cameron's rope.
Phil admits to Claire he's afraid the other kids will find out Luke's seeing a psychiatrist and humiliate him. Although to be fair, Luke did appreciate the fact he got to go to a doctor and not get a shot or have to take his pants off...something he figured out a little on the late side. The doctor talks to them and Luke is simply got his attention in too many places at once. He is easily distracted, but he would grow out of it. Claire would rather not leave it to that.
CLAIRE: I'm worried he's gonna turn into you, Phil.
Oops. And she knew she was wrong, but Phil did drive her up a wall sometimes...like when he joins Luke in shaking his head back and forth so the paint can looks like it's standing still. Phil is very upset with Claire, and she's even madder at him for goading her. They both peel out of the parking lot in their respective cars...and leave Luke behind.
Haley got some information from her friend, Gabby, about her BFF talking crap about her to Dylan when she broke up, so it was payback time. They go to the girl's locker to coat the interior with shaving cream. Alex is worried they'll be caught. They hide in the boys' locker room. Haley tells Alex to go to her happy place so she wouldn't panic and accidentally sprays herself with the shaving cream. They have a good laugh and take off to avoid the security guard. They make it back to the car, and Alex feels a bit proud for doing two bad things. The first one was blowing off her cello lesson, as she hadn't practiced because of lacrosse and debate. Haley got her to admit hating playing the cello, but Alex didn't want to quit because she thought the hopes of the family rested on her. Haley told her to lighten up.
Back at home, Claire wants to talk to Phil about Luke, but Phil knew "there are qualities about me you can't change because I'm all grown up, but it's not too late for Luke." Claire is distraught, but she tells Phil there's many things about Luke he gets from Phil she absolutely loves...and she can't think of a single one. But Phil reassures her he's a great kid.
Cameron, you might expect, really is not on board with Jay being a guardian, but Mitchell points out Gloria would be great as Lily's guardian. And then Gloria brings back Lily, complete with earrings. Which sounded like hair rings to Mitchell earlier when she said it. Now Mitch was freaking out, but Gloria defended herself by saying she didn't just do the 'gay ear', she did both sides. Cameron was even more upset Mitch didn't want to even consider his side of the family, but Mitchell insisted giving Claire and Phil another try...until they ran in and admitted leaving Luke in a parking garage. Fortunately, Luke got a limousine home from a wedding at a church he happened to wander into while trying to spot his first-grade teacher. Claire finally admits she worries too much.
Manny talks to Cam, saying Jay wasn't mad at him for not climbing up the wall because he knew Manny was a much braver kid than that. Manny was actually worried about having to shower in front of other guys. But Jay telling him he couldn't even talk to girls as a kid, much less read them poetry like Manny can gave him a little confidence to go on the camping trip. And Cam was back in Jay's corner. Mitch was still upset with Gloria, but she said she had them when she was two. Big ones!
PHIL: What is she...
CLAIRE: Earrings, Phil. Earrings.
Mitchell is apologizing to Jay for not choosing him, but Cam comes in and announces Jay and Gloria will be Lily's godparents.
GLORIA: (ecstatic) Oh, Lily! When something horrible happens, you're going to be all mine!
MITCHELL: It really is an "if" situation...
GLORIA: ALL MINE!
Claire protests, until Phil gets a call about Haley and Alex vandalizing the school. That settled that.
- This is the second episode that includes one of the main character's names (Lily).
(The characters striked out do not appear in this episode)
- Jay Pritchett
- Gloria Pritchett
- Manny Delgado
- Claire Dunphy
- Phil Dunphy
- Haley Dunphy
- Alex Dunphy
- Luke Dunphy
- Mitchell Pritchett
- Cameron Tucker